It's been a few weeks, so I thought I would check in and let you and the forum know how I'm doing.
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I had a relapse on Friday night, I was on a first date and ended up going back to her apartment. I had told her I had recently quit smoking to which she told me that she might be a bad influence. I told her that it was fine, that she could smoke and I wouldn't, but ended up taking one hit off the vaporizer. I was drunk and feeling desperate for intimacy, so I believe those things influenced my decision in the moment, but oh well, it is what it is. It was part of a series of not so great decisions that night, but I am not being too hard on myself about it. Shit happens, I'll pick up from here and continue to move forward. I'm telling this story for accountability purposes but also because I think it may help others to know that no one is perfect and it doesn't mean I'm giving up on this effort.
For a long time (while I was smoking) I thought I really wanted a girlfriend who also was a stoner, but now I think that's a bad idea. I'm still adjusting to all this new me stuff.
This week I'm putting my focus on being professional at work and being engaged in my job even though I feel very unmotivated. I'm working on practicing ACT and not let my thoughts control my actions.
Sorry to hear that you relapsed, but I think that maryjane is right, you just need to keep moving forward. It is a journey, and if you learned something to help you next time that kind of situation arises, then good for you!
It does take time to adjust. I am so happy that you are working on ACT. It is a good one!
It is always hard when someone comes into our lives who is a bad influence on us. That temptation from people smoking around us can take a long time to get past, so don't beat yourself up about it!
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