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Thread: Looking to quit

  1. #111
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    Jul 2015
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    Hey Thisisme,
    I think you have done the right thing. Although it is good to push yourself and to explore areas beyond your comfort zone, I think you know when something is just too far beyond you. The other day I did the same thing with an event that was posted. I considered the offer and felt deep inside that I just couldn't manage it. So, I didn't go. And while you might be feeling a bit sad or sorry about quitting your job, it sounds like you are doing something positive claiming benefits so that you have some money. I would really encourage you to take this time to work out what kind of work you do want to do, and more importantly, determine what is the first logical step on the path you want to take. I hope that you will stay in touch. I have been thinking of you, and hoping that you are doing okay.
    What are your plans for the weekend?
    Best,
    Alice :-)

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  2. #112
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    Jun 2012
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    Hi Alice thank you for the support, yes I do feel a bit sad and disappointed but also relieved to not have to go back there.
    The job didnít suit me at all, I will take a week or two to recuperate and then look for something thatís not dealing with the public as much, something that will hopefully suit me more, yes I will stay in touch, I donít have much plans for the weekend to be honest maybe try and have a workout and relax at home, I feel exhausted from all of the stress haha how about you?

  3. #113
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    Jul 2015
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    Hey Thisisme,
    I hope you are having a relaxing weekend so far! Some rest and recuperation sounds like just the thing after your experiences with anxiety lately.
    My weekend is quite busy actually. I feel really sad though. And it can be harder to provide support during that kind of experience.
    Do keep in touch.
    Talk soon,
    Alice

  4. #114
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    Feb 2018
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    California
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    Hi Thisisme & Alice,

    I've read through the recent posts. I commend you for giving that job a shot! I loved Alice's words about trying things and "failing." Something I personally need to embrace more! We give failure such a negative connotation. And really, why even use the nasty word at all?! You tried a job that didn't work out for you. Now you know a bit more about what is not your cup of tea. And speaking of that, you seem very self aware in your analysis about the type of job that would be better suited to you.

    Alice, you have such terrific words of understanding and encouragement! It's been said on here before, but totally is worth repeating! I am sorry to read about your sadness. How did your busy weekend go?

    As I think I've mentioned, I started a job in early December. I actually like it and it is a good fit. I was hired for 2 days a week, but covered everybody's holiday time off, so ended up working quite a bit in December. This was good because it allowed me to get up to speed quickly. I just started 5 days a week this week--full time--yikes! I am feeling a bit of adjustment. It's a good gig overall. It's an 8-room inn, quite nice, directly on the bay. The owners are super nice as is the other staff. So I consider myself fortunate, as those 2 factors can make or break any job. Now if I could only get my sleep patterns under control....But, I work the afternoon/early eveing shifts, so perfect for me as I only go in at 1 or 2 p.m. unitl 8:30 p.m.

    So, I am sending my positive job energy to you, Thisisme!! And hoping you can get your anxiety under control.
    All the best,
    John

  5. #115
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    Hey JWC and Thisisme,

    Thank you for your kind words, JWC. It is so nice to feel appreciated. As much as I am aware that therapy through 'text' rather face to face or through 'talking' does have some limitations, I do think that it is better than no therapy at all. I am really happy to be able to contribute to our group in this way!
    My weekend was a bit crazy actually. On Friday night, out of self care, I bailed on two performances that I had bought tickets to (and therefore wasted quite a chunk of coin), but it was more important to myself to take care of myself and I drifted off to sleep early, listening to the most beautiful music. Of course I woke up at 3 am in the morning and realised that I had not taken either of my medications. This is NOT the best thing. And I decided not to take the dose then, as that can be worse, and simply wait until the next scheduled dose on Saturday night.
    It was a weird day I have to say. I went nuts. I said 'yes' to everything without really considering it. I spent $154 on red clothes, because that is what I wanted to do. Happily, my friends invited me to a comedy gig, and it was so good to hang out with them. The gig was funny, and I cried during one of the songs about a dead guy in a park, because it reminded me (again) of the time I was nearly murdered back in my early 20s. By the time I got home, I was feeling ashamed and chaotic.
    At some point I felt like I was not going to be 'able' to sleep again, and that would have been a disaster. I did get to sleep though through virtue of reading a light novel before sleep.
    When I woke up on Sunday, I was so depressed. I guess it was neurochemical, from the missed dose of medication. I ate a dense vegetarian breakfast, and had to get out to a 'greenie tour' that I had said yes to the day before. It was so hard to stay focused during this tour, but it was so good. Despite the massively hot day and my tiredness, I actually learnt a lot about sustainability initiatives in Melbourne. It was really, super interesting. The heat was oppressive though, so I was irritable (in my mind) and we got through it.
    Thanks so much for asking about my weekend! It is good to express these thoughts and to tell someone about the sadness I feel in my heart as a result of strange romantic alliances with people who I am not sure are good for me, and always end up making me feel bad about myself. I am actually addicted to one particular person on the internet, and sometimes I get punch drunk engaging with his media on the internet. I am not sure that any of this is REAL though.

    It is so good to hear that you have found a job that you love JWC. Is there anything better than that? Sleep is the hardest thing to try and 'control' or 'get under control'. So, I completely understand how difficult it must be for you to work under these conditions. I am so happy that you have the opportunity to work at times more suitable to your sleep patterns.

    How did your weekend pan out Thisisme? Did you manage to rest and take it easy? I think JWC is right about failure too, and I am still learning this myself. How are you feeling about your decision now? JWC mentioned that you sound clear about where you want to head in terms of your career, however, I have not yet been able to understand what your hopes and dreams are in terms of your career direction?

    Take care all. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have a fantastic week! 'See' you soon :-)
    Alice.

  6. #116
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    Well, well, well, Alice. Quite a weekend indeed! Sorry to read about it. Sounds somewhat manic--"going nuts" on Saturday and then being depressed on Sunday, and a few things in between. Being reminded of nearly being murdered must be terrible. I can't even begin to imagine. Does one ever get over that?

    I hope the red clothes are nice!

    I don't think Thisisme is clear on where he wants to go career-wise, but I think he's got a pretty good handle on not necessarily being suited for customer-facing jobs. If I recall correctly, I think he said he would perhaps prefer a job that is less interactive with people.

    Anyhoo, I just wanted to reply to your message about your weekend. Thanks for sharing.

    Thisisme--sorry for hijacking your thread!
    Happy Moday!
    John

  7. #117
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    Hi JWC, and hi Thisisme, apologies again (from me) for hijacking your thread!
    In answer to your question, JWC, I am not sure I will ever 'get over' being nearly murdered. I may be able to progress through the pain with therapy though. My new (to be) therapist is skilled in 'trauma', so I expect to learn something, even if I will always be 'triggered' by certain things.

    I think you are right. I think I was 'manic' on Saturday. That would probably be the missed dose of 'medication'. My brother actually told me today that he thinks I should consider getting off medication altogether. I am not sure about that for now, but I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow, so that is likely to be helpful.

    The red clothes are very nice and they fit well. It breaks my heart in a way, but I am happy too. I like the colour 'red'.

    Yes, in terms of thisisme's career. You did say that you are more interested in a job that has less customer focus, maybe research or doing something with your hands thisisme? What are your interests so far?

    Thanks again for your reply JWC, and thanks for your support - really appreciate it.
    I had a nice day at work, after a bit of an elongated holiday of sorts, so it is good to make a start with some work.

    What are your plans this week? Got anything happening? Are you still going to BodyPump? A...mazing! (still love it).
    What is the weather like where you guys are at the mo?
    Take care,
    Talk soon y'all,
    Alice xxo

  8. #118
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    Jun 2012
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    Hi Alice and JWC,
    Donít worry about posting both your feelings in my thread I also read through them and I can relate to a lot of things, you are both welcome to air youíre feelings in here anytime.
    Sounds like you had a very mixed busy weekend Alice, I can somewhat relate to the nearly being murdered thing as I was nearly killed 6 years ago, itís how I got my scar as I was attacked on a night out.
    I try to bury it but unfortunately you always remember, especially (in my case) as I have the scar to remember it.
    My weekend was ok, I went out around some shops with a friend and just relaxed at home.
    The job thing JWC is pretty much correct, Iíd just like a steady job that I donít have to interact with the public as much, something that I can bare, I donít have to love it but I donít want to be dreading everyday, maybe something in a warehouse, office or driving.
    I am kind of stressed at the moment as my bills outweigh my income on benefits so I am losing about £160 a month which is therefore putting more pressure on me finding a job.
    Iím pleased for you though JWC that you seem to have found a job where you fit in, you seem a really good person and deserve this.
    The weather here in the UK is cold, wet and windy at the moment but to be honest Iíve always preferred the cold dark weather haha.
    I hope you are both well my friends.

  9. #119
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    Hey Thisisme,
    Thanks for your understanding and support. I am so sorry to hear that you have had such a terrible violent experience yourself. I can completely understand how the scar that you are having difficulty accepting and integrating must be so tied up with all sorts of feelings coming from trauma? I am not sure that 'burying' it is the most helpful of strategies. It can be tempting to push your feelings away, or to bury them, but to be hoenest, I think that kind of thing can make you sick and depressed, perhaps even anxious. People get all sorts of problems from pushing feelings down. I would humbly suggest finding a therapist who is skilled with trauma or with PTSD. I am so glad that I will see a new therapist who has experience with trauma next week. Although my previous therapist was excellent, we never really worked on the 'murder' issue that I have (even though I saw her for 7 years). It still bothers me though. I would like to move through it if possible! Another friend has PTSD and found a great therapist to help her grow out of that pain and trauma. So, there are options!

    So glad your weekend wasn't too bad. Shopping is always a nice and relaxing thing to do on the weekends. I am so glad you did that.
    Warehouse, office or driving sounds like the perfect kind of job for you! Maybe you would like something like picking and packing orders? There are so many ecommerce stores in this day and age, that perhaps order packing and warehousing would have lots of openings. Have you had a chance to look at the openings? Are there many jobs around?
    In any case it is good to work out what you don't want too, I think sometimes. Custoemr service is o.u.t. Good work!

    Money can be incredibly stressful, so I understand the importance of finding a job. I get a benefit too so I understand how it just doesn't stretch to everything you need in life. It can be helpful, but work is important too. So, I hope you find something soon! Speaking of which, I should do some WORK today! I have been in the office since about 11 am, and I still haven't done anything much!! Just one of those days I guess. Distracted. . . different priorities. Monday isn't everything, but money shure does help to give you what you need in life.

    I hope you are well too Thisisme!
    Take care and talk soon, yeah?
    Alice :-)

  10. #120
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    Jun 2012
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    Hi Alice
    I may actually have another job opportunity coming up, my friend got me an interview at a warehouse job for Friday where he works, only thing is itís full time 40+ hours a week but Iím thinking at least it wouldnít be working with the public, maybe itís worth a shot and could distract my mind as Iíll be busy working?
    Maybe it could help with my anxiety/depression? It does feel pretty daunting but I canít stay on benefits forever.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Governmentís FREE SAMHSAís National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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