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Thread: My Story: Day 97 + Emotions

  1. #11
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    Aug 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by IAmTheStorm View Post
    Hello,

    Today is day 103. Is it normal/to be expected I would still feel disconnected at this point? Like I feel unable to connect to people as deeply as I used to. I have no family history of any mental illnesses and I didn't experience anything like this before marijuana, so I am assuming my brain is just still leveling out but I'm just worried. I only smoked for 8 months but it was heavy use with the THC oil. Should I just expect that it hasn't been enough time yet?
    Hello:
    I have a thread post, "Withdrawal experiences from non recreation post surgery prescribed THC?" on page 2 that you can look up.
    I was on THC oil edibles 24/7 for many months following a medical procedure for pain all an alternative to opiates pain killers. (I should have took the pain killers had I known what the THC would do to me).
    Anyway. My dosage was 12mg every 3 hours around the clock for many months. I quit cold turkey and the withdrawals were horrible. I am not just over 2 months and finally am able to sleep 4 hours at a time. Hot flashes are mostly gone. Sweats are gone. Panic attacks mostly gone. But depression and anxiety and insomnia and loss of appetite and "eagerness for life" is still gone. I was prescribed antidepressants but so far have chose to not take them. You can look at my post and see what I've been taking. Glycine powder is great as it stabilizes the emotions and settles things down.
    I think that taking THC Oil edibles like I did 24/7 is highly saturated and different from recreational smoking, etc. So, I think because of that heavy saturation it will take longer for the withdrawals to go away. I suspect the THC Oil is going to saturate our bodies deeply. I have also read that those with higher fat cell content will the longer because the THC is in the fat cells.
    Anyway. It will take time for our dopamine and serotonin and other levels to go back to normal. As to how long, everyone is different. So no answers.
    I realized that if I don't set some kind of long range timeline to shoot for it would be more depressing to go day by day. So I set a goal of 6 months, 9 months, and 1 year and at each point to evaluate how far I've gone and improved.
    This recovery is so slow and takes so so long that thinking long range like that helps give us a "break" about all of it which means less stress.
    In the meantime on a day to day basis it helps to have a support group around us, family, parents, friends, even long talks on the phone, to help lift our spirits and get through another day, another day, another day, without focusing too much on ourselves when we are alone and getting more depressed and anxious.
    I hope this is helpful to you.
    When you mentioned short time but high saturation and THC Oil it caught my attention.
    I'm still having a very hard time but day by day.
    I'm right behind your schedule. Day 103 seems so far away.
    Do you know how long it took for appetite to return?
    Right now I don't want to eat anything and its hard to eat meals. Nothing tastes good.
    Hang in there.
    Things will get better.

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  2. #12
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    Oct 2017
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    Hello Retired,

    My appetite slowly came back around the 40 day mark. The loss of appetite was awful for me as I couldn't even go out to eat with family because I physically would get sick if I tried to eat. I even threw up in a restaurant my first week of quitting. I found that it's a slow process you have to tackle gradually. I stuck to eating things like avocado and mango because hot food with a strong smell made me absolutely cringe. It's a frustrating cycle because when you don't eat your blood sugar drops which can make anxiety issues a lot worse. I had the shakes for almost a month because of this.

    I think 8 months of THC oil everyday like I was doing definitely saturated my body and took a long time to leave my system. I didn't start feeling like myself until after the 90 day mark. Now I am feeling like myself again but dealing with the residual effects of decisions I made during the withdrawal process. I moved 3 hours away and moved back in with my parents because I really thought I was losing my mind. But now I'm coming out the other side, today is day 110 and it has gotten tremendously better even over the last week.

    I have stopped googling for solutions and just started to get out and live my life and things have been improving. I think the depression lingers if you think about it every day, so I've been trying to just move on and put it behind me. Just hang in there and you will gradually feel more like yourself. It's a pain in the ass process but it is only temporary. That has been my mantra, it's only temporary. I would avoid taking the antidepressants for sure because those have withdrawal risks as well and screw with the natural chemistry of your brain. I have been taking B12 and D3 vitamins as well as Relaxed Mood gummy vitamins from VitaFusion, they contain 200mg of l-theanine and have really helped me. Green tea has also helped a lot.

    Best of luck to you, day 103 may seem far away but you will feel better soon.

  3. #13
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    Oct 2017
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    Today is day 117 for me. For anyone that reads this I just want you to know that it does get better. Each day it feels like a piece of me I thought was lost forever is found. There's no battle like one you fight within your own head. I really mean that, I have never experienced anything like the past 4 months. It is rough having no one in your life that understands what you're going through. It's frustrating, it's lonely, and it feels like it will last forever. But I can assure you that the more you just live your life and let go of the past, the better you will feel.

    It's strange because I never craved smoking until around the 3 month mark, and that's when thoughts like "Well if I just smoked again then everything would go back to normal" and that's just downright delusional thinking. It's like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole and it will not fix you. It will only push you further and further away. Remember your reasons for wanting to quit. For me, it's the fact that I am only 23 and I want to get a good job and have kids someday. I also quit when I did because I realized that when I didn't have it I couldn't eat, this was my first red flag that I was dependent on it, and I don't want to rely on anything for something as simple as eating.

    It's incredibly annoying to me when I tell someone my story and their response is "well weed isn't addictive so you must have had something else going on that made you depressed" as if I don't know my own body. No, I don't believe any long-term damage was done to my body but to say that what I went through wasn't real just because you couldn't see it is incredibly ignorant and frustrating.

    If there is anything good that came from the experience it's that I learned that it's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to unpack and live there. It sounds crazy but when no one else understands, talk yourself through it, be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge how hard you are trying, it will all be okay and someday it will all make sense.

  4. #14
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    Jul 2015
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    You have such an amazing story IAmTheStorm. It is really inspiring.

    I am so glad that you are starting to find the sunshine on the other side. I hope that you will continue to feel improvements every day. Once I started noticing that life was improving, I noticed some kind of improvement almost every single day for months. Right up to past a year quit. It was such a good feeling.

    You have a lot of great insight and I think that others will really benefit from reading your story. Thanks so much for posting it!

    Onwards and upwards!

    Cheers,
    Alice

  5. #15
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    Oct 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice View Post
    You have such an amazing story IAmTheStorm. It is really inspiring.

    I am so glad that you are starting to find the sunshine on the other side. I hope that you will continue to feel improvements every day. Once I started noticing that life was improving, I noticed some kind of improvement almost every single day for months. Right up to past a year quit. It was such a good feeling.

    You have a lot of great insight and I think that others will really benefit from reading your story. Thanks so much for posting it!

    Onwards and upwards!

    Cheers,
    Alice
    Thank you Alice, you are truly wonderful to everyone on this forum!

    So today is day 119. It was a bit rough as I have a sinus headache I believe from the cold Ohio weather. Still, I am maintaining my positive outlook. That is another piece of advice I have for those going through depression related to withdrawal, allow yourself to have "off" days. Normal people aren't happy and feeling great 100% of the time. So when you do have an off day and are feeling sick, tired, or just down in general, accept it as just an off day and don't turn it into a downwards spiral. I did that a lot the first month or two, I would over analyze everything I was feeling and turn it into something it wasn't. I would have several good days in a row, then have one off day and think "Oh great I really am never going to get out of this depression!" When really I was just having a normal off day and then throwing the good days and progress out the window.

    Tomorrow will be 120 days and I can not even describe the journey I have gone through to the fullest extent. It's all about perspective, you can look at it as the best or the worst thing that has ever happened to you.
    If anyone struggling ever needs to talk, feel free to message me. I'm by far no expert but I do understand the struggle.

  6. #16
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    Jul 2015
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    So good to hear that you are at 120 days and through the last of the icky threes. I found the three month mark difficult, but it was so good to be on the other side! Congrats to you too!

    Thanks for your wisdom regarding positivity and "off days". It is so helpful, even for those of us who have quit cannabis.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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