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Thread: My Story: Day 97 + Emotions

  1. #1
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    Question My Story: Day 97 + Emotions

    I want to share my experience for those whom may be struggling with some of the same things as well as get some advice going forward.

    I began smoking weed in November 2016. I started out with just tree, then switched to oil. I was doing probably 20 dabs a day, it was a lot. I would notice that when I didn't smoke I had some loss of appetite issues, but I never would have thought the horrors that were ahead when I quit. I last smoked July 5, 2017. The first week was an absolute nightmare. Symptoms: Panic, diarrhea, night sweats. I went to urgent care twice and the emergency room once. I actually thought I had some life threatening illness, they told me this was marijuana withdrawal (which I didn't know was a thing).

    Month 1 (July-August): Relentless anxiety and panic attacks. I would wake up in the morning with a burst of panic. I was still having major GI issues at this point, mainly diarrhea and loss of appetite. I lost 10 pounds. Nothing sounded good to eat, not even the blandest foods were palatable. I couldn't function. I ended up moving back in with my parents the beginning of August because I couldn't function.

    Month 2 (August-September): After I moved back in with my parents, the anxiety disappeared within 10 days, and this turned into what I can only describe as depression. I felt absolutely disconnected, I was afraid of my own thoughts and didn't trust anything I was thinking. The GI issues resolved. My appetite came back and I no longer had diarrhea. My memory became super shitty. Not just short-term memory, but at this point I felt like I couldn't even remember what happiness felt like. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years (only lasted like 3 days). Totally isolated myself and fell deeper into the disconnection and depression. I went to urgent care again and he told me that I didn't smoke long enough to do any long term damage.

    Month 3 (September-October): Absolutely desperate at this point, I started Googling for ways to heal the brain. I researched everything: nootropics, neuroplasticity, supplements. I started taking Relaxed Mood gummy vitamins, which contain L-theanine and began drinking green tea. This helped a lot. I also have a Vitamin D deficiency, my levels last year were 18 and I was supposed to be taking D3 2000iu every day but I had not been, so I made a point to do this. I take 5000iu every other day and B12 gummy vitamins every day. My memory was still shit and my cognitive abilities I could tell were not where they use to be. At this point I was feeling completely void of emotions and hopeless.

    Currently: Today is day 97 since I last smoked. I have been journaling nightly and keeping with my vitamin regimen. I am slowly but surely starting to feel better. I never knew something as common as weed could wreak havoc on you the way it has for me. My boyfriend is completely fine and has been fine this whole time, which I found super frustrating. I never had any intense depression or anxiety issues before marijuana and the 8 months I did smoke were my first time. He had been a smoker since the age of 16. We are both 23.

    For others, in your experience, how long did it take you to get your emotions back? I feel like I have made tremendous progress over the last month alone, but I still feel like I can't feel deeply.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    It is my understanding that these experiences are due to a crash in dopamine levels from smoking and suddenly quitting. Once my dopamine levels or receptors repair themselves, I should feel better is my guess.

    I might also be dealing with a bit of situational depression because of all of the changes I made while deeply depressed. My live in boyfriend of 2 years (together for 3.5) and I now live apart, I don't have any friends back home now as I've lived away for 5 years, I go to school online, and I'm currently unemployed but looking. Sob story aside, when did you all get your emotions back after quitting weed (if you ever lost them)?

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  2. #2
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    Hi IAmTheStorm,

    I really noticed feeling happier than I had ever been for so long when I was smoking around the three month mark. However, I was taking an antidepressant, which you might want to consider. I take mirtazapine and I was prescribed it to help me quit cannabis. It is good for addictions. When my happiness came back, some days I didn't know what to do with all the happiness inside of me. It was slightly overwhelming.

    Your withdrawals might have been worse because you were smoking / ingesting quite heavily before you quit. You are right though, your dopamine reward system needs to rebuild and regroup, and if you quit cold turkey, I can imagine that can take some time.

    Something you said really stood out for me though. You said that you were deficient in vitamin D. I know first hand how much of a huge effect this can have on your mood and your energy levels. It is a massively important vitamin and it will take time to get your stores back up to the level. First month, some improvement, second month more improvement, third month maximum improvement. Keep going with it!

    It sounds as though you are quite isolated at the moment, so I hope that you can take some first steps towards bringing more social life into your life, as I think this will help your mood too.

    Good luck! You have been through a lot and you are doing great!

    Cheers,
    Alice

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice View Post
    Hi IAmTheStorm,

    I really noticed feeling happier than I had ever been for so long when I was smoking around the three month mark. However, I was taking an antidepressant, which you might want to consider. I take mirtazapine and I was prescribed it to help me quit cannabis. It is good for addictions. When my happiness came back, some days I didn't know what to do with all the happiness inside of me. It was slightly overwhelming.

    Your withdrawals might have been worse because you were smoking / ingesting quite heavily before you quit. You are right though, your dopamine reward system needs to rebuild and regroup, and if you quit cold turkey, I can imagine that can take some time.

    Something you said really stood out for me though. You said that you were deficient in vitamin D. I know first hand how much of a huge effect this can have on your mood and your energy levels. It is a massively important vitamin and it will take time to get your stores back up to the level. First month, some improvement, second month more improvement, third month maximum improvement. Keep going with it!

    It sounds as though you are quite isolated at the moment, so I hope that you can take some first steps towards bringing more social life into your life, as I think this will help your mood too.

    Good luck! You have been through a lot and you are doing great!

    Cheers,
    Alice
    Hello Alice!

    Thank you for your sweet reply! I woke up today feeling better than I have since I quit, so day 98 is feeling like a step in the right direction for sure. I also think I have been reading too much into whether or not I'm having emotions. I'm going to try to just keep busy and work towards goals. I bet getting my vitamin D level up has helped a lot for sure! I'm going to keep with that regimen and try to stay the natural route. I'm not against antidepressants but I don't feel like I need them. Two months ago I would have done anything to get some relief but as you said, I've seen major improvements over the last three months and should just keep with it. I've read that it can take anywhere from 3-6 months for the brain to fully recover, so I guess time is going to be the real healer. I'm applying like crazy to jobs so that will help a lot with the social isolation as well.

    Thanks again!

  4. #4
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    Hi IAmTheStorm,

    No worries at all! I am sending you the very best wishes for your job search. Good plan!! That sounds to me to be the absolute best way to address your depression and isolation.

    It is good to hear that you are going to give yourself the time and space to heal. 3 - 6 months sounds about right. I think that if you keep working towards values and goals, you will be in an unbeatable position. What's more, you will have that monkey off your back! You will be weed free! Woot :-)

    Let us know how you go!

    Cheers,
    Alice

  5. #5
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    Hello,

    Today is day 103. Is it normal/to be expected I would still feel disconnected at this point? Like I feel unable to connect to people as deeply as I used to. I have no family history of any mental illnesses and I didn't experience anything like this before marijuana, so I am assuming my brain is just still leveling out but I'm just worried. I only smoked for 8 months but it was heavy use with the THC oil. Should I just expect that it hasn't been enough time yet?

  6. #6
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    Hi there,

    I don't know a lot about THC oil, but it may be that it takes longer to recover from the oil, especially if you were using it heavily. Have you tried researching other people's experiences with it? I guess there is also the fact that as you are rebuilding your neural network, so some things can feel clunky until you practice them more. I know it is frustrating, but try to give yourself time. Or talk to your doctor?

    Does anyone else have some insight that might help IAmTheStorm?

    Cheers,
    Alice

  7. #7
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    Hi Alice,

    Yes I am assuming it is because of the heavy usage it can take longer. I guess what I am experiencing is probably a side effect of depression. I just don't feel a wide range of emotions like I used to, I just feel rather flat and still a bit foggy. I can't imagine living my life out like this, not being able to feel love or joy. It has me in a panic.

  8. #8
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    Hi IAmTheStorm,

    It is understandable that this has got you worried. I would really encourage you to google other people who took THC oil heavily, as you might find something useful in other people's experiences. Also, you could ask your doctor or ask for a referral to a psychiatrist that might help.

    I think in a lot of cases that it is not the emotions (or lack thereof) that is the problem so much as the narration about these emotions that you are doing with words in your head. The more worked up you get about this, the worse it will be. That is why finding other people's stories can be helpful. I would suggest the book The Happiness Trap in the meantime. https://www.actmindfully.com.au/book...d=855&catid=61

    Have you ever considered therapy or counselling? A good ACT therapist can help you to get through the depression.

    If anyone else has any advice or experience in this area, please chime in!

    Alice

  9. #9
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    Thank you very much for your advice. I agree with your sentiments about my narration about these emotions being the real issue. I had a friend tell me that she didn't "cure" her depression, she simply forgot about it. I think it's a similar thing where the more I think about it the worse it will get.

    I am taking your advice though and I will read The Happiness Trap and search for others stories.

    Thanks again!

  10. #10
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    No worries IAmTheStorm,

    I think you are right. The more you concentrate on it and struggle with it, the worse it will get.

    Enjoy the Happiness Trap. It is a good one! Good luck with the search.

    Cheers,
    Alice

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