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Thread: Quitting Marijuana and Tobacco at the same time (including poppers)

  1. #11
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    Default Day 14

    Hi Alice,

    I've been reading the other forums and noticed your wisdom on many of them, and I wanted to thank you on behalf of everyone (not that I'm qualified to do that) , but at least wanted to express my gratitude and give you some props for your patience and persistence! There are a couple particulars I was looking to have answered that I feel would be best addressed by you directly on the forum that I've started. I kinda know what your going to say about the first question but I'll ask anyway. I have a best friend coming back from Thailand that has invited me to a news years party. I love this guy, I've smoked a million doobies with him, have had the best conversations with him and I know that if I go to this party and drink I will want to smoke one with him.

    Deep down inside more than anything I want to change my relationship to marijuana because initially I've used marijuana to connect, spend special moments, ponder about existence, connect to music and nature, and let loose.... all the reasons we liked smoking in the first place before it became a constant technique of checking out. I know how dopamine receptors work, I know that the theory dictates that if I want to succeed I must abstain completely, not one puff. But... I don't want to be that guy, I want to be the guy that's focuses on continuous progress and connection, living mindfully, being aware of his thoughts and not having a single event of say a single joint with my best friend destroy all the progress that I've made and be detrimental to any future progress in my self development. Because I know with that mindset I will buy into that disastrous story and end up exactly where I started if not in worse position than that.

    So there's my dilemma,

    I know I can always simply not go, and hate that decision, not see my friend, not participate in something I want to do. But that's not what I really want.

    You seem like spiritual mindful person so I would appreciate your real thoughts on the issue, I most definitely want to be free of my tobacco addiction because it just kills me, my body tells me so, I never want to smoke again, even though I always want to smoke. I know its an addiction, I know intuitively that it harms me. However marijuana is a different animal and my intuition tells me that what I really desire is to master/watch my mind, being aware of how I relate to the things I want to do,... meaning, I really would like to see myself as an old man one day with my best friend on a mountain puffing on doobie watching the sunset, talking about life's mysteries..... do you really think that this vision is not possible? Am I forever doomed to have this enemy relationship I have developed to something that was once expanding my consciousness? Or can I fix the relationship by abstinence, meditation and mindfulness?

    I know its loaded question, so loaded in fact that I wont ask my other one. I also know that the answer would be specific to individual and his/her level of awareness and relationship they have to said plant. I also know that you have tried to only smoke socially, only to return to the same level of consumption. But I really would appreciate your honesty from a spiritual perspective and not so much on a social level. I don't plan on returning to smoking weed socially, but I do want to master my mind and not just develop another form escape through abstinence... I want to trust myself with myself to make the right decisions for myself, moment to moment, day to day. Thanks Alice, I'm keen to read your response, I hope you surprise me. Lol.

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  2. #12
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    Default

    Lol Kasper, thank you for your kind words. It is always a joy to read how people progress and develop.

    I am not sure that I am going to surprise you, but I will try to share my perspective, particularly with the spiritual and developmental side of things.

    Firstly, I think you should definitely go and spend time with your friend. It is important to you, and it is a very strong value, I can hear that. So in that case you shouldn't let anything stand in the way of being true to yourself and spending time with this special friend. My understanding is that as long as you are living in a way that consistently gets you closer to your values, and not let this mental noise to stop you doing the things that you love, you will have a rich and amazing life. You do have the option of enjoying his company without cannabis. It is your choice at the end of the day!

    Now for your more tricky question. The spiritual aspect of cannabis. Let me grab a cup of tea and ponder that some. . . Actually, I have grabbed a beer, because it is 4:26 pm on a Friday afternoon and I am excited about the prospect of having a picnic this evening with two of my best friends :-D

    Spiritually, 420 will always have a special place in my heart too. Just today, I noticed the time 4:20 pm and thought of the forum. It is just that after having been away from cannabis for nearly two years, my life is rich and I don't miss the spiritual 'awakening' that I got when I smoked it.

    I can completely relate to a lot of what you say. And when I was smoking, those were definitely the aspects of smoking that I loved and found so hard to give up. It felt like a really special experience and it felt sacred in a way. The thing is that sometimes, it is easier to see things more clearly when you are outside of them. I started to understand in the last years and months of my smoking that all that hyperbole, all that spiritual awakening, all those amazing ideas and sunsets, they weren't really REAL. They were just hype, in a way.

    It is one thing to have a spiritual experience, and this is a deeper question, because I guess that it is not helpful to tell anyone that their spiritual experience is an 'illusion'. That may be my opinion, but it comes back to values again. It may be important to them, and that is none of my business.

    I guess I just feel that now that I am not in that 'spiritual space' I don't miss it, and I don't need it. Am I still spiritual? Perhaps less so. You mentioned social life and that is so true, there is a distinction. I feel more connected to real people in real situations, and those sunsets still happen. I still share very beautiful moments with people and indeed in the world. I still appreciate beauty. I take better photographs, surely, but it is real, every moment of it, is completely connected to my own inner self.

    There is not this 'flight' which is what cannabis felt like to me. It was a literal trip. I would sit on the couch and plan all sorts of things, but not one of them ever happened. I would probably FEEL something that could be classified as spiritual, on many occasions, but looking back, I just think fondly of a time in my life when I saw something more in the world. It is enough.

    I actually think that it is possible to 'grow out of' cannabis use. I actually think that it (and magic mushrooms) have had a net positive effect on the way I see the world and my mind. It has definitely been a positive developmental experience, but as you say, to really grow, I needed to leave all that behind.

    I am thinking again of those non cannabis spiritual experiences. It reminds me of NYE last year. Tears come to my eyes, as I think of the vision of the fireworks from a friend's rooftop apartment in my neighbourhood, with friends. It was an intensely spiritual experience, but it was all the more poignant and beautiful because it hit me right in my heart and soul. It didn't take me AWAY from the experience, it held me within it.

    All the better that I did not have any kind of emotional edge the next day and started the year, completely balanced and awake.

    So, I think that you should definitely see your friend, and make up your mind now to experience his friendship with an open heart and mind and really connect with him. It is one of the best things of cannabis abstinence. He is on his own journey and may not be ready to go down the path of sobriety, but your experience is important and I think it can be just as special without cannabis.

    It does take a bit of time to really appreciate the beauty of the soul after quitting cannabis, but you are on your way!!

    As a side note, I know exactly what you mean about cigarettes. They are toxic, disgusting cancer sticks. I wanted to be free of them for so long and could never do it. That day when you start your forever quit is the best day in the world. I am so incredibly grateful and happy to be free of that shit!! I can't wait to hear that you are too.

    Sorry for so many words. It is an interesting topic. And thanks so much for the interesting question! I am sure I didn't surprise you, but I hope you find this useful in some small way

    cheers,
    Alice

    PS. I think as you grow and learn and develop you will learn to trust that you will make the right decisions for yourself moment to moment. I used to second guess myself so much more too. I just feel so much more competent these days and I definitely trust myself to do and say the right thing, even if it is not always perfect.

  3. #13
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    Default Day 16

    Hi Alice,

    You are a gem! Thank you for your sincere reply, every word resonated with me. There is no doubt in my mind that you know what your talking about and the fact that I have been able to exchange words with you is a privilege and a huge help. I hope that through my participation in this forum I'll also be able to contribute some lessons learned through my journey and hopefully make things a little clearer for others.

    You're absolutely right... in order for me to grow I need to be comftorable with a little discomfort, so I'm going to the party, but with a proper mindset to pay attention to the real moments. I've smoked weed for so long that really there is nothing to left for me to learn and I'm only missing out on the lessons in life that will only present themselves to me when I'm ready to accept them. So it's not going to be perfect, and that's ok, eye on the prize even though I'm not sure what exactly the prize is, but there's nothing left for me under the cloud of smoke. I'm getting excited at the prospects of the unknown, new opportunities, new feelings, new relationships, not only externally but with myself as well.

    So now my update... I have not yet made it to the sticky 3 week mark, but after spending time with friends and booze and weed again I think I got this... it helped to have a friend there that didn't smoke. Still super stressful at school, dealing with some anxiety, but oh well.... sweaty palms and a racing heart never killed anybody... I think... My sleeps are pretty good, my diet has improved 10 folds, I hit the gym yesterday and am learning socialize without the weed. I'm going to a bus party tonight..... Ya I know crazy! With a bunch of people I don't know.... alot of them will smoke but I got this! It's really exciting actually to see how I'll feel, and to know that with every temptation I get momentum getting stronger and stronger. Wish me luck, I'll check in tomorrow!

    CHeers.

  4. #14
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    Default

    Hi Kasper,

    No worries. I find it interesting to reflect on some of these deeper questions of cannabis cessation.

    It sounds like you have a very active social life and go to a lot of parties with other people who smoke. In this kind of case, I think you are right, that if you face the temptation from the beginning and overcome it, the connection will get broken and your mind will get stronger every single time you abstain. You will learn to say no, basically.

    A few years ago when I had quit for a period of about 9 months, I went to a warehouse party in Sydney and saw some people rolling up. Because I had never been in that situation since I quit, it tripped me up, and then I went back into a smoking phase (gradually to full use), for the next two years. I think what you are doing is great. And although it is risky, you can be a bigger person.

    I am sorry that you are still experiencing some anxiety, and heart racing etc, but I think you are right - it is not going to kill you, and it will pass. You seem mature enough to cope with this and you are doing a fab job!!

    Have a great evening
    Alice

  5. #15
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    Default Day 17

    Ok! So getting better at saying no. Its getting a bit easier, but still that looming feeling of missing out of something. But I do have this underlying feeling I get sometimes during a good tune or while I'm writing in my journal that I'm on the right path and that life is about to become more abundant if I can stick to what I know in my heart I need to do.

    My sleep patterns have stabilized, I fall asleep effortlessly, and I wake up before my alarm clock not feeling like a sack of S**T. I don't mindlessly pig out on food, and I feel I enjoy my mornings more and feel more focused overall. I realize I have lots to do, my list of things are getting bigger and bigger lol but so is my ambition. I had fun last night overall last night at a little get together, I wasn't as lively as a usually am but I wasn't a sh**t head either. It was stable. Not what I'm used to but growth shouldn't be or feel the same.

    As for withdraws, mental noise... still there but reduced I think. I'm a little jittery still, but I did have some coffee. Hands still moist, temperature still a little hard to regulate, I seem to like my house a lot warmer these days and that's reflected in my utility bills. One thing I like to add is that the deeper I get into my abstinence the more I realize the possibility of drastically improving my life if I stick with it. I know I'm in the very early stages and its still very difficult, but the more I dream of what I can make out of my life and how much different it appears to the life I've been living, the more it excites me and makes me want to press on.

  6. #16
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    Hi Kasper,

    I guess it would be good to try and come to terms with that 'missing out' thought / feeling combination. By the time that I quit cannabis, I was smoking every few days and because my tolerance was low, I would get really quite high, and to be honest, I hated it. Do you have any instances that you can remember, where you just hated the feeling of being high? Those kind of recollections really helped me when I was first quitting.

    Now, it basically seems a choice between all and nothing. I can either be a smoker, or I can be a non smoker, and it is an easy decision. It sounds like you are finding some motivation in your journal, which is great. I hope that you continue with that.

    It sounds like things are improving a bit for you too, which is great to hear. You obviously have a positive attitude, and that will take you a long way. There is a lot to be hopeful for, so I think you are on the right track.

    Cheers,
    Alice

  7. #17
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    Cool Day 20 (A big decision)

    Hi Alice,

    Yes your right, journalling has been very helpful...(I hope you got my message or two lol, about that). Your also right about shedding light on that missing out feeling,... do I really miss being sedated, unaware and simply not at my best? That's a silly question isn't it?

    So I've been getting more clear of the things in life that are important to me, and one of those things have been limiting my exposure to toxic people and environments. I have been struggling dealing with an authoritative, narcissistic individual in my program at school who happens to be the professor/coordinator... who is basically the program itself. After taking many steps to try to resolve the problem it seemed that I was willing to simply endure the toxicity. Well thanks to some clarity I took major steps reporting and bringing light to this issue.. which escalated the matter more, causing a significant amount of dis- ease.

    However yesterday I came to the conclusion that I will not tolerate and subject myself to anymore anxiety and disrespect and withdrew from the program!!! Its was a crazy decision but the right one. I know with all my being that pulling myself out of that negative situation will now expose me to positive opportunities. Sure the unknown is scary and expectations have definitely changed, but I know I will land on my feet, and with this clarity that I'm beginning to experience... its only awesome from here on in.

    So tomorrow I will be graduating from the 3 week mark of tobacco and weed sobriety. I can say that I'm much more proud of the man I am, even though I have a ways to go yet! In terms of withdrawals I still have some clammy hands, I'm still having difficultly keep warm, and sure I'm a little anxious at times. But I'm feeling really good about my progress, and I am becoming more and more confident in my decision to peruse a different kind of life, without a cloud of smoke... again removing one environment to expose myself to other environments that I've never yet experienced and that is ****ing exciting! I have some tests coming up in terms of the holidays and spending time with friends and family who will be huffing and puffing, but this is my journey and I'm the driver of my life and I get to direct where it's going... and I'm driving towards the sunset this time!

  8. #18
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    Default Day 21 (3 Weeks!)

    3 week mark and man o man have I been seeing the effects of it on my life. My entire life is changing, I have no idea what is going to happen, but things are falling right in to place for me, even though I've turned everything upside down. I have been approved for funding to take a different program which will be significantly harder but now that I'm already much more clearer... I know I will do well providing I stay on this path.

    I am much more aware of some of my communication weaknesses and just things I need to improve on in general. Don't get me wrong I am much clearer, but I'm far from perfect... but.... I can see that now, I know where I need to pull up, and when I should shut up. I feel my emotions more accurately and am able to investigate my own behavior rather than just reacting to my emotions.

    I have been a tad worried about spending time with one of my good friends at New years and being tempted. But the more I think about some of the benefits I would like to see in my social interactions and my own comfort the more I know internally that I want clarity, progress and harmony. I think I can pull it off, I think I can choose to be a grown up version of myself and not participate in consuming stuff that ****s with my head. My comfort in my own skin is super important to me. Sure weed has made parties fun, but in the long run it has made me less efficient at meeting and connecting with people, both in a romantic and social setting. I want to feel that every moment I'm in are my moments and not as if I'm intruding on other peoples moments if that makes sense.

    Tomorrow I'm hosting a Potluck with some of my old classmates, none of them really smoke so should be a piece of cake. The real test comes New Years, but cross that bridge when I get to it.

    Good Night.

  9. #19
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    Hi Kasper,

    It is really great to hear that you are starting to feel some of the benefits of being cannabis free already. You have a very positive attitude and I know that it will take you a long way.

    In terms of being able to study a more challenging program, I would suggest that being cannabis free will definitely give you an edge, over your former self. I have maintained a HD average (top marks) since I quit cannabis just under two years ago, and after a bit of a recovery period, I found it amazing just how much better I was performing at work, school and socially.

    You have so much to look forward to. I also wanted to let you know that I am still finding benefits. When I was smoking, one of the reasons I did it, was because it helped me to write. It was hardly productive, but it felt like a fun hobby, and like many musicians, artists or writers, I was scared to quit cannabis, because I thought that it would take away my artistic expression and creativity.

    It was true, I found it harder to write when I first quit, but this improved and I tried to face the challenge head on and write from the get go, which helped a lot. The BEST thing has happened recently though, when I am coming up with copy for my web design and marketing business. I find it actually effortless these days to compose words for a campaign or web page. This is a HUGE turnaround. I used to be able to only write 'when I felt like it' or when 'I was in the mood'. Now I just pump it out, and it flows easily.

    So, for you and anyone else, who is worried about losing some kind of 'special power' when you give up cannabis, I want to let you know that it does come back - in spades. It comes back better than it ever was. I find the same with dancing.

    Although, New Year's Eve can be a challenging time of year, and your friend may try to convince you to smoke with him, I know that if you really feel sure in your own mind and have made your decision beforehand, it can be easier. Your thoughts are not commands. They are just words and stories, and they can't force you to smoke.

    It sounds like you are already getting a lot of insight into areas of your development that you want to work on going forward. I also felt that communication with my friends needed some work, but I am happy to say that I have practiced and practiced, and when I am not smoking cannabis, I actually take one step in front of the other. It has been amazing how far I have come in communications in the past year or so and I think you will find the same thing.

    It is great to read your journal and see you grow as a person, and your optimism is infectious! Keep up the good work! (And thanks so much for your message reply, your input was very helpful, thanks so much!)

    Cheers,
    Alice

  10. #20
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    Default Day 22 and getting tipsy

    So I'm presently having a get together, and some of my friends are making my life a little challenging to say the least. I have the best pot known to man being smoked and flaunted in my face..... its so hard!!! AK47 smells heavenly also some purple Candy... moon rocks and finally cherry oil... Man I've never felt this tempted. But it's good practice so I'm here trying to get my mind convinced of what it is I really want. I know I want a great life, better opportunities and beautiful loving woman. I wan't to know what I'm like off the weed and I'm going to train my will power and abstain,.. even though it sucks. Soon weed will be legal and I'll have this quality of marijuana in my face all the time.

    I'm three weeks in, and I'm disciplined, I'm stronger than this feeling of need, of incompleteness, I am growing and for now this is my path.... I also know that smoking a joint will lead me straight back to tobacco and I definitely don't want that so here I am fighting this urge for a reason, tomorrow will be better. sorry everyone for this rant, I thought it might help me refocus. I'm now going to go back upstairs and change the tunes. Adios wish me luck.
    Last edited by Kasper; 12-22-2017 at 08:34 PM.

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