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Thread: My weed story and why and how do I quit.

  1. #1
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    Default My weed story and why and how do I quit.

    Long-time weed smoker, something about 15 years of every-day smoking. Mostly in the evening but sometimes I let myself smoke from morning till evening.

    When I was younger I had lot of weird psychological drama, I was socially absolutely retarded and spend most of my time by myself, had psychologists prescribe be all kinds of major anti-depressants, some of which are illegal for prescription today. My parents had never wanted me taking pills, and I never did. I spent some time being the socially-awkward person I was, but then I learned of cigarettes and eventually weed (since the social-outcasts were the most accepting towards me). Weed helped me socialize, calm myself and be more empathic. It helped me get involved with other people. But that came with a tax.

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    Weed became a habit and shortly an addiction. I bound weed with regular life, with work. Being a creative illustrator, I really hooked it onto the work and it became harder to work without it. But then weed started to create a mist in my head. I couldn't smoke every morning before work because it made me incapable of illustrating or performing anything that required technical innovation. I stopped smoking for a while, being really motivated on improving my illustration, it was around three months, started working out, but then I got into desperate times because of desperate love, had a puff and went straight back into addiction.

    Nowadays I smoke mostly in the evening, to play videogames. Weed completely clouds my brain when it comes to focus. But it gets worse, sometimes I smoke and i get incredibly anxious. I've had several panic attacks after smoking weed, during the first I called an ambulance since I thought I was having a heart attack. During most I usually pass out for a couple minutes. I think my body is telling me it's a critical time to end this.

    Since christmas, I tried limiting my dosage to 0,5gram a day max, and managed to not smoke for a day or two, usually accompanied by insomnia, sweating and depression. Currently I'm smoking weed every other day, but I think I need to go cold-turkey. Also I cut out cigarettes, but I smoke spliffs so not really.

    My question is onto the people that managed to quit. I'm not really sure if I should try and quit while I'm bound by several deadlines? I mean, I can't rightly tell if this is some cryptopsychological subconsious excuse, but I don't know if I need to keep busy or should i get free time? Please share your experience with quitting and maintaining a normal working life. What I'm afraid is trying to quit, becoming incapable of working and my life going to shit BECAUSE i tried to quit my addiction.

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  2. #2
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    Hi juanG,

    I can relate to the experience of mistaking an anxiety attack for a heart attack. They can be very scary, but you can manage your anxiety with breathing exercises, or breathing into a paper bag, as the anxiety is caused by 'over breathing' where the balance is too much oxygen and not enough carbon dioxide from breathing fast and shallow.

    In terms of whether you should wait for the deadlines at work, I think you should be guided by what has worked best in the past. I am definitely the sort of person who tries to choose my moment where quitting is concerned. If you have had awful withdrawal symptoms in the past and you might be negatively effected maybe waiting for a better time is a good idea. The only thing that I would say is that it can take a lot of different things to align for you to get the motivation to quit, and that time is NOW. If you put it off, you might never find a good time.

    Maybe you could try something similar to what Andie is doing and reduce your dose so that when you do quit the withdrawals won't be as bad. This can take a significant effort to hold your use at the new level, and I would recommend that you get some support from a professional to help you to do this.

    Good luck and let us know how you are going!
    Alice

  3. #3
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    Well, as I said, I'm actually limiting my dosage. I managed not to smoke for a couple days already, withdrawal symptoms included, but not as bad as some have in this forum. Interestingly enough, I've had a spliff yesterday. I know the weed that I had was supposed to be strong, but the amount didn't do that much. Still had some weird insomnia and dreams. Gonna put off weed for today.


    To be fair, I've not 'enjoyed' a spliff in a long time. As soon as I light it up, there are thoughts of regret and shame coming down on me. As this state persist, I will attempt to lower my dosage in preparation for cold-turkey. I will try and not smoke throughout the week at work, will see how it goes.

  4. #4
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    Hi juanG,

    I can relate to lighting up and then falling in a hole - it can be an overwhelming feeling to get high, and especially unpleasant sometimes.

    As you are just beginning, perhaps it is not clear to you what process you should take to quit. Experimenting and finding a good balance between work and cessation sounds like a good way to find out what works for you.

    Every step forward is a good day. It is so worth it to be free. It is so nice to not be a slave to some kind of substance and that is just for starters

    Have a great day!
    Alice

  5. #5
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    Well, todays the day I have my last half-a-gram of weed. Still not even sure I want to smoke it or throw it out. Definetly don't want to keep it or give it to my brother who still smokes (thankfully hes not as deep as I am, and me quitting and constantly complaining about weed is keeping him from falling... i hope)

    Since christmas I've managed to limit myself to a joint a day, and have been abstaining for 2-3 days at times, smoking after. It usually seemed like a reward, going through some abstinence symptoms, but resulted in the hole of 'why the hell am i smoking again god this is bad i cant focus or enjoy anything anymore'. I don't know if that's good, but it certainly motivates me to quit.

    The stress around school finals and job deadlines was frustrating, but surprisingly, it wasn't that hard to not smoke when I had stuff to do. I don't have that much stuff in front of me, so I'm trying to setup a program of stuff to do. I'll primarily focus on exercising and eating well, as my stomach and marihuana have never been friends, and being lazy as hell I'd rather get fastfood instead of cooking up something healthy.

    One thing that stresses me out is the amount of depression and anger that accumulates when I abstain.

    I have some psychological issues, resulting in social anxiety, depression and anger (never been directly diagnozed, but i was almost somewhat functional). Weed in my younger days helped me get involved (and it perhaps is the reason why I became socially accepted) the effect today is quite opposite. As I've had a large amount of anti-depressant prescribed when I was younger including stuff like Prozac or Zoloft (i was 16 at that age). My parents took the smart turn (i think) and never had me take them. After a violent outbursts (which were quite justified, i was bullied a lot and one day ive had enough and i almost killed the master-bully. i dont regret that, he deserved every broken bone) i was placed in a Juvenile psychological treatment center and there they had me take some minor pills, but they had barely any effect. Weed however, helped me incredibely. It was almost like when you see the autistic kid that stops hitting him/her head after getting a dose. I'm really afraid if something like that won't comeback. No abstinence symptoms, night sweats or cravings make me as afraid of quitting as the thought of losing control of my own anger and feelings. (i am visiting psychotherapy so dont worry im getting professional help)

    Theres an incredible amount of energy inside me, and weed, altough helping me control it, puts in an unreachable position. In a fog of sorts. I know that energy is starting to come back, and I need to control it.

  6. #6
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    Since I've already started to show my asshole side on here and started to ruin this community, I requested a permanent ban and will be moving to another forum.

    Thanks for your help.

  7. #7
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    Oh no!! I am so sorry.

  8. #8
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    To Kasper: You didn't chase me off. Infact, you were right for most part (i dont smoke meth, i have experience with it, but i havent had it for several years- it kinda offended me tho, people tend to be very emotional when they hear about meth and it just seems irrational because I never even had the motivation to get addicted to it). I appreciate your honest and rough response though. In the end, it does make me build up tougher skin.

    I just tend to be extremely dramatic. When I read your comment my emotional state went downhill and I started to behave irrationaly. It's very easy for me to switch behavior like that, maybe I'm somewhat bipolar. Accompanied by such feelings are insane thoughts of escape and anger, such as suicide or hurting others. I never actually did attempt suicide or never actually hurt a person, because in some insane manner, I keep telling myself that if I ever do it, I should actually be all serious about it. Like, I think if you are serious about suicide, you do not 'attempt' it. I'm kinda glad I didn't get banned, because you are right, I should go on and try working on it. There's that lunacy of realizing how wrong I was very soon after behaving so, and that usually makes me fall even deeper. I was used to having weed to calm and balance that, but it has stopped working recently. Perhaps it would work, as I explained in my own thread, perhaps there is a way of healthy dosage to help me deal with actual psychological issues, but as I became chronic user and built up tolerance, the effects soon vanished. As I mentioned before, I was prescribed pretty hardcore pills for my issues.

    I'm still off weed and cigarettes, somehow. I'm starting to have extremely vivid dreams again. Most of them unpleasant though.

    It's fascinating to me that what seems to affect my ability to abstain the most is positivity/negativity. As soon as i slip into negative thoughts, I'm surrounded by negative people, the cravings get harder and harder to fight off. If people around me are positive and I focus on positive stuff, the cravings almost dissapear. Nothing seems to block out the cravings as much as positivity.

  9. #9
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    Also, if you guys are interested, I'm quite into making music and art. When I get some time off work, I'll be posting some illustrations of my dreams on here (tell me if i can tho, not sure if imageposting is allowed and the web can handle it).

    https://soundcloud.com/jnkr-1/

    the sagan one is kinda undone but i wanted to have it overwith

  10. #10
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    Hi Juan,

    Welcome back!! It is so great to see you here

    I know exactly what you mean about negative thoughts and people can have an effect on your capacity to weather the urges. I must say that I was worried about that with regard to you, because you did sound quite distressed, and your quit is just a baby. So congrats on getting through it. I hope that you will find positive people to engage with and that this will help your quit.

    I didn't pick up the reference to meth, but I must say that I am pretty amazed that you used it and did not get addicted to it. I have heard horror stories about one hit being enough to get completely hooked, or at least to alter your brain permanently. I am so glad that you are not in that world. It sounds just awful.

    Thanks for the link to your soundcloud page. I will have a listen later. Looking forward to it.
    I have been making art myself lately, and I am considering sharing it as well!! It feels like art is made to be shared, but I guess, it is sometimes a question of opening up a door to spaces on the internet and then not being able to close it. I did have a quiet, private place on the internet, and I am currently considering opening it up to friends and the public. It is a bit of a decision!

    Wishing you the best of luck with your quit. Let us know how you are going!

    Cheers,
    Alice

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