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Thread: amber's cold turkey thread

  1. #1
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    Default amber's cold turkey thread

    Hey guysss, suppp, I'm Amber
    i'm going to use this space to do something mindful and distract myself from the constant urges to smoke, trigger warning, i'm not gonna sugar coat any of this. I'm 22 and currently studying psychology. I've been smoking weed daily from the age of 15, roughly about 1.5 g a day, and up to this point i really didn't care. My mental health is a joke, i've been diagnosed with psychosis, anxiety, depression and bpd and even though it wasn't 100% before the excessive smoking I do believe that weed is one of the biggest contributors to this. Before starting university I was a bit of a party animal, my friends and I were into our Class A's and I decided to stop taking anything of the sort when i began to notice physical health problems, and I haven't looked back since. However, this meant that I would smoke wayyyy more weed than usual. I had no interest in quitting until my boyfriend decided he didn't want to live like this anymore. I'm from Ireland and weed is ridiculously expensive over here and it's not legal, so we we're spending pretty much 90% of our money on weed each week and buying all sorts of sprayed weed which defo didn't do us any favours. I hadn't smoked one day bc I had a test and came home and freaked out on my bf, i had a panic attack and broke my bathroom door, i cried non stop for hours, smoked a joint then acted like nothing ever happened. My bf told me if i don't quit he would leave me and move back into his mum's house. My bf also smokes but he has wanted to quit for a while. So I decided I would quit even though i didn't want to. Fast Forward 6 hours and im fighting with him begging him for one joint to ween myself off it. He had researched it and seen a reddit post which said that if you don't go cold turkey, you're not really getting the benefits of not smoking weed, thus getting over your addiction. Then i realised that i was in wayyy too deep and that what i'm doing is not ok at all. I have gained 50 pounds, i was horrible to everyone when I hadn't had a smoke and I couldn't even look people in the eye due to the crippling anxiety! I was so angry that I let myself get to this point and I knew then that I needed to stop. I get help for my mental health and have been for 4 years, so far my recovery has been slow and it is 100% due to the fact that i would sit and smoke myself into a hole all day every day. I'm now 4 days in without smoking and I've even tried to quit cigarettes and I feel like complete shit, I can't sleep, eat or think. I have constant cold sweats and just generally feel like i've nothing to live for, which is ridiculous because lets face it it's just weed!

    im off for now but i really hope to stay sober.
    Much love x

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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  2. #2
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    Default

    Hey Amber,

    Four days is great! I am pretty sure that the reason that you feel like such crap and that you have 'nothing to live for' is because cannabis stimulates a whole heap of dopamine receptors in your brain. Dopamine regulates motivation and can make you feel so, so good, so that is why you are feeling so crappy at the moment. The good news is that the receptors do shut down or become dormant with time, and this can mean that you start to feel so, so much better. It just takes some time.

    I wouldn't have tried to quit cigarettes at the same time but some people find that the two addictions are so linked and have success with quitting both together. I quit both cigarettes and cannabis, but I quit cigarettes first, about three years ago, and then cannabis about two years ago. I used the same strategies that I had learnt from quitting cigarettes to help quit cannabis, and it worked that way. There are little tricks that can make it easier. Just let me know if you want to know more.

    It sounds like maybe you could benefit from some self-love and self-care. I just get the sense that you don't love yourself very much right now, and maybe that is what is driving the need to smoke cannabis? Obviously, your only job right now is to get through the withdrawals. They are temporary, and they will get better with time.

    As you are studying psychology, you may be aware of the satisfaction that comes from personal development and taking steps to being the person you want to be. I think this will really help you in your practice, because you will be able to help others with your personal experiences.

    Good luck and let us know how you are going
    Alice

  3. #3
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    Jan 2018
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    Keep at it!

    As Alice said, you might benefit from building yourself positive motivation to move forward. In your text, there isn't much positive to be found about you. Perhaps you could try and tell us some of the things you are proud of? I'm sure there is so much you want to live for, but it's just hidden in fog so far! You are never just a bag of negativity, and even if you let yourself down in some ways, just realizing that you did gives me an impression that there is a strong, positive and loving person inside of you.

    I hope I'm not being pushy, I have bad experiences with being pretty harsh on people! Wishing you luck, stay positive!

  4. #4
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    Hi Amber

    Way to go!
    It IS really hard to feel this crappy. I am on 7 weeks with no weed after about 20 years of pretty much daily use. I felt awful--racing mind, depression, and insomnia. I had very little appetite which helped me lose 15 pounds, which I needed to do anyway. My appetite is back and I have been feeling better little by little and am looking forward to continuing to feel better as time goes on.

    I have been proactive in trying to shake this. I took melatonin a few times to get some sleep. Works for me but I don't love the way it makes me feel in the morning, but it was worth it to get some sleep. I bought a cranial electrostimulation device at the suggestion of my therapist. Google this to find out more. It's for treatment of anxiety, depression, and insomnia. It worked like magic the first two days I used it. The "magic" tapered off but I am still using it and think it is very helpful. I also started swimming laps which helps and also have started weight training, which I think is helping even more. (All the hype about excercise being good for you turns out to be true---the jocks were right all along! ;-)


    I also am going to Marijuana Anonymous meetings. Conveniently there is a group in the town I live in. Has helped tremendoulsy. There is a free app with lots of information and I think onlie meetings. There is a great pamphlet on Detoxing that assured me that what I was going through was typical and that it WILL get better.
    Reading through this forum has also been very helpful.

    Anyway, I hope some this can be helpful for you. Keep us updated!

    John

  5. #5
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    Hey Juan,

    I am just wondering where in the world you are located? I think that maybe sometimes you come across as being harsh because of language differences?

    You said 'there isn't much positive to be found about you' and that does sound pretty harsh, but having chatted to you some, I don't think you mean it the way it sounds.

    Have a great day everyone!!

    Cheers,
    Alice

  6. #6
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    Hey Alice!
    Thank you for the reply, i'm now 5 days in and that was the pick me up I needed!Thank you for the information about dopamine, I really didn't know how it all worked I had convinced myself that I've replaced my body's natural dopamine and I have none left lol, Do you know how long it usually takes to get over the depression symptoms?? Everything you've said is completely true,I do have very poor self belief. It's always something I've struggled with and I always used that as an excuse to continue smoking, thinking nothing could make it worse, boy was I wrong! with the money I'm saving I plan to treat myself each month (but only if I haven't smoked), I rarely spend money on myself as I always feel guilty and go to buy weed instead! I also need to take more time to better myself physically, my body is like complete jelly from being an inactive stoner for most of my life, I purchased a treadmill last year and I never use it, I plan to force myself to run half an hour each day to distract my mind and busy myself. What you said about how it will help me in my practise really made me smile as this is why I am doing psychology, to be able to one day help young people who struggle with addiction and mental health.
    Again, thank you so much for the reply Alice you're a wee star!
    Amber (:

  7. #7
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    Hey Juan, Thank you for the reply! It is very difficult to remain positive atm and I find it hard to think of things to be proud of, which is silly as I've actually accomplished a lot in the past few years. This is something I will have to think about for my next thread post. You're not being pushy at all, I wasn't expecting any replies and I'm very grateful for everyone's kind words!!
    Thanks a lot dude
    Amber (:

  8. #8
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    I also wish you luck with your journey Alice!
    Amber (:

  9. #9
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    and good luck to you too Juan!

  10. #10
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    I am from Czech Republic. And quite frankly, it's more so my incapability of putting something I want to say in a good way.

    I used to be very insensitive and obviously, I'm still learning. I definetly didn't mean to be harsh, I guess I could have just ommited that sentence!

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