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Thread: I need help with quitting......I cant do it myself

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    2

    Thumbs up I need help with quitting......I cant do it myself

    Hey There Everyone,

    I would like to introduce myself and then explain what I'm going through. My name is Danny and i'm a married 34 year old male living in Toronto.

    I have been smoking weed since I was 14 (grade 9) but have been smoking daily for 13 years. I used to enjoy it and look forward to it, but it has now become an addiction. It just became legal in Canada yesterday which is what has pushed me to quit. If I don't quit now I may never quit as it is becoming extremely accessible. I have tried to quit many times but I always fail. I lie to my friends and family about my habit but worst of all I lie to my wife. She has wanted me to stop since we met 5 years ago. I always told her I slowed down or that I stopped but it's all a lie. I hardly even have sex with my wife. It's embarrassing. I smoke every single day and when i'm not smoking i'm looking forward to the next time. When i'm almost out my anxiety goes through the roof.

    I used to be a confident, athletic, and social man who just absolutely loved life and people. Now I am isolated, anti social, have severe anxiety, and am overweight. My marriage is not doing well and thats because I put weed first, not my wife. Hell....i smoked weed on my wedding day.

    A major issue I have is being successful at work. I have zero motivation and worst of all i'm a Casino Dealer which is basically the worst job ever for anybody with bad anxiety. People are rude and I constantly have to put on a happy face even though i'm dead inside. I had other jobs but i lost motivation, and either quit or was fired. It's so hard to find a decent job these days that I can't leave because i'll be screwed. I have a mortgage and all my other bills to pay. Just thinking about going to work kills me inside.

    Basically I just need help. Im at a loss and I don't know what to do. I take several medications for depression as well as stomach issues and I don't want to take them anymore. They changed me. I'm not myself anymore. I have not been for a long time. I want to love life and be the gut I know I can be. I want to be SUCCESSFUL. I have begun to teach myself coding in hoped of a better future career. I am even thinking of going back to school part time. But again.....motivation....or lack of is killing my dreams and my relationships.

    Does anybody know if my motivation or personality will return? Will my severe anxiety get better? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

    Please help. Thank you all for listening.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Danny D View Post
    Hey There Everyone,

    I would like to introduce myself and then explain what I'm going through. My name is Danny and i'm a married 34 year old male living in Toronto.

    I have been smoking weed since I was 14 (grade 9) but have been smoking daily for 13 years. I used to enjoy it and look forward to it, but it has now become an addiction. It just became legal in Canada yesterday which is what has pushed me to quit. If I don't quit now I may never quit as it is becoming extremely accessible. I have tried to quit many times but I always fail. I lie to my friends and family about my habit but worst of all I lie to my wife. She has wanted me to stop since we met 5 years ago. I always told her I slowed down or that I stopped but it's all a lie. I hardly even have sex with my wife. It's embarrassing. I smoke every single day and when i'm not smoking i'm looking forward to the next time. When i'm almost out my anxiety goes through the roof.

    I used to be a confident, athletic, and social man who just absolutely loved life and people. Now I am isolated, anti social, have severe anxiety, and am overweight. My marriage is not doing well and thats because I put weed first, not my wife. Hell....i smoked weed on my wedding day.

    A major issue I have is being successful at work. I have zero motivation and worst of all i'm a Casino Dealer which is basically the worst job ever for anybody with bad anxiety. People are rude and I constantly have to put on a happy face even though i'm dead inside. I had other jobs but i lost motivation, and either quit or was fired. It's so hard to find a decent job these days that I can't leave because i'll be screwed. I have a mortgage and all my other bills to pay. Just thinking about going to work kills me inside.

    Basically I just need help. Im at a loss and I don't know what to do. I take several medications for depression as well as stomach issues and I don't want to take them anymore. They changed me. I'm not myself anymore. I have not been for a long time. I want to love life and be the gut I know I can be. I want to be SUCCESSFUL. I have begun to teach myself coding in hoped of a better future career. I am even thinking of going back to school part time. But again.....motivation....or lack of is killing my dreams and my relationships.

    Does anybody know if my motivation or personality will return? Will my severe anxiety get better? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

    Please help. Thank you all for listening.
    Danny, that took a lot of courage to open up like that. This forum has far more problem posts than success posts because many folks who get over their addiction and withdrawal get on with their lives and leave this forum behind. But, there are enough posts all over this site that certainly answer the two big questions you posed near the end of your post. And that answer is a big YES.

    YES, your severe anxiety will get better and your motivation and personality will return.

    However, to diminish the anxiety and restore motivation and personality, you're going to need the same courage, and more, that you showed by coming here and posting your story. Toronto is a big city. Find a Marijuana Anonymous group or some sort of group like that and seek their help. Find a counselor experienced in situations similar to yours. You could be advised to try and stop the weed and the meds and gut it out until your through it. Or, you might be advised to stop the weed and deal with the meds later. Tell your wife what you told us here and tell her you need her help. I think that would begin to strengthen a marriage that you said "is not doing well".

    One thing is clear from your post. You have your values and priorities correct and you sound like a very decent human being. Keep being courageous. Seek the help you clearly stated you need.

    Please keep us updated.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    California
    Posts
    107

    Default

    Hi Danny,

    All what Hyzer said!

    I would stress the professional help. Tell your doctor what you want to do. You have to be careful with anti depression meds.

    I am 10 and half months quit after 20 or so years of smoking. It was difficult but I feel so much better now. But it took months of incremental improvement. You really have to be patient and work at it.
    Marijuana Anonymous was a big help for me.

    Other stuff I did/still do: excercise--weight training and swimming, accupunture/traditional medicine--she prescribed some supplements which helped, reading this forum, listening to others' stories at MA meetings, trying to distract myself.
    You will have to recreate your life as a non stoner. It's strange, can seem boring, etc. but it will get better. I am so happy not to be smoking weed anymore. One day at a time.

    All the best to you Danny. Keep us updated.
    John

  4. #4
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Wow

    Bro I am literally in the exact place as you i started smoking at 14 in 25 now after smoking everyday for 11 years I've been 5 days clean also 2 days off cigarettes anyone can do it if they truly want to, I've tried many times in the past and failed because I was always going it for other people my family my partner, money worries not because I actually wanted to buy since reaching that point I've decided a "boring" sober life is better then a high life no matter whats happening. Just do it for you and the further you get the more you'll feel achievement and the further you'll want to get clean good luck bro peace out

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    2

    Default Finally taking the step

    I have finally pushed myself to quit. Beginning Thursday I will be weed free!

    I have just put my vaporizer, papers, and all other life ruining tools in a bag and I'm taking it to throw in the garbage at a nearby plaza tonight (this is one of the hardest things i've ever done. The thought of it gives me extreme anxiety buy I know it must be done). If I throw it out here i'll probably be tempted to access it. I know its weird that I'm not quitting until Thursday but (and i know this will sound strange) I have decided to return to a spot where this mess started when I was a teenager and smoke my last joint to tomorrow. In a weird way this helps give me closure. The thing I'm most worried about is the anxiety and insomnia. I just hope I can sleep. If anybody has any tips that worked for them to get through this please share as I definitely need the support.

    Im scared as hell but at the same time I am extremely relieved. I just want to have the life I know I am capable of and not the life of a stoner. I will keep everyone posted on all progress negative or positive.

    Cheers to taking my life back!

    Danny

  6. #6
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Default Day 1

    Today sucked. But I managed to not give in to the extreme urges. I'm a little pissed off for no apparent reason and I have zero appetite (half a muffin all day), and a mild headache, but otherwise I'm okay. I will keep everyone posted about my progress. Cheers!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    1

    Default

    Way to go, Danny! Throw that bag and be done with it. Just remember, things might get worse before they get better. But once they really start getting better, you'll feel great. Rooting for you, bro!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Today sucked. But I managed to not give in to the extreme urges. I'm a little pissed off for no apparent reason and I have zero appetite (half a muffin all day), and a mild headache, but otherwise I'm okay. I will keep everyone posted about my progress. Cheers!
    Nice to hear that you got through Day 1. There can't be a Day 2 without doing that! Irritability, is one of the most common withdrawal symptoms. I remember quite frequently, when first quitting, being "a little pissed off for no apparent reason". Actually my wife probably remembers it even better! My appetite left me, too. The irritability went away and the appetite returned, though, that'll happen for you, too. Keep taking this one day at a time. Good luck.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Danny D View Post
    I have finally pushed myself to quit. Beginning Thursday I will be weed free!

    I have just put my vaporizer, papers, and all other life ruining tools in a bag and I'm taking it to throw in the garbage at a nearby plaza tonight (this is one of the hardest things i've ever done. The thought of it gives me extreme anxiety buy I know it must be done). If I throw it out here i'll probably be tempted to access it. I know its weird that I'm not quitting until Thursday but (and i know this will sound strange) I have decided to return to a spot where this mess started when I was a teenager and smoke my last joint to tomorrow. In a weird way this helps give me closure. The thing I'm most worried about is the anxiety and insomnia. I just hope I can sleep. If anybody has any tips that worked for them to get through this please share as I definitely need the support.

    Im scared as hell but at the same time I am extremely relieved. I just want to have the life I know I am capable of and not the life of a stoner. I will keep everyone posted on all progress negative or positive.

    Cheers to taking my life back!

    Danny
    Hope your Thursday and Friday were successful. Insomnia and anxiety were my worst withdrawal symptoms. The only tip I can offer is to keep reminding yourself that these symptoms exist for a reason and will get better (but not right away). It's not you losing your mind or anything. It's more like you trying to get your mind back, and this is the process by which it will happen. Even though right now it might seem like you are completely engulfed by the withdrawal bullshit, it's never a 100% thing. When you have a few good hours or even a decent portion of a day when symptoms ease up a bit, remind yourself then that this is not 100% suffering. And, when the symptoms become overwhelming again, remind yourself that those few good hours WILL return. They ALWAYS do. And, those scant few hours of brightness become larger portions of a day, then a full day, and so on. Good luck, Danny D.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    939

    Default Methods for success in quitting cannabis

    Hi Danny,

    I just wanted to chime in and say that even if your big day to quit was significantly harder than you expected, and even if you have fallen off the wagon and are back on the weed train, please don't give up. It can take people time and many attempts to succeed in their quit, but the more you learn and the more strategies you try, the closer you will get to your dream of being weed free!

    I am reading a really interesting book at the moment called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It is so interesting because it provides a case for what really does work for people when they are quitting their addictions. The first thing is that there is a habit loop going on with your cannabis use. A cue, a routine and a reward. The cues are all those things that make you think about (and induce you to smoke) weed. Stress, happiness, work, anxiety. What are your cues? The routine is the process of picking up your gear and smoking, the reward is that feeling you get from weed that keeps you coming back.

    I think that it is not particularly helpful to suggest that there is NOTHING good about smoking weed. Why would we do it, if there wasn't anything good? The point is that all those things you mentioned in your original post - the lack of motivation, the feeling dead inside, the not being able to start studying, the feeling stuck. These are kind of deal breakers in a way. And believe me, they are all cannabis related. It is like being in an abusive relationship. Obviously there have been some good times, but they are not WORTH the abuse. The same with cannabis?!

    Two methods are presented for successfully quitting a habit. One, the cues are going to the be the same and you want the rewards to be the same too. You just want to change the routine in the middle. For example, people going to AA, get the reward of social validation and connection that they get from their meetings which is a good substitute to the relaxation and the reward that alcohol gives. They are then able to play around with the routine and do something different to get a substitute reward.

    It might help to think a little about the rewards that you get when smoking, and think of other ways to supply these. It can be harder when you are feeling CRAPPY from withdrawal, but I firmly believe that this journey is easier for people who actively seek out different ways to stimulate their reward centres in their brains. For me it was incense, chocolate, herbal tea, warm showers, intense music and outings. For you it might be different, but LITTLE THINGS can have big pay offs in those first few weeks and months free of cannabis, in my opinion.

    The other success factor is a tribe, because this provides you the 'belief' that you can do it (guess what, you can!). I think that Hyzer and JWC are so right about MA. You could do a lot worse than seeking out a group to go on this journey with. I think that is one of the biggest factors in success, a GROUP helps you to believe it is possible, and this is crucial to your success. This forum is obviously one of THOSE places. It was crucial in my success.

    As for the future, it is bright. As the others have suggested, the changes in people after they give up cannabis (over time) can be profound. Your motivation will come back and you will be able to get more control of your career. Your relationships will become closer and more connected and you will feel happier. This is what happened to me.

    So good luck! And if you don't come back (I do hope that you will return soon!), I hope that this helps someone else who is thinking of quitting.

    :-)
    Cheers,
    Alice

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