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Thread: 10 and a half months....I need reassurance.

  1. #1
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Unhappy 10 and a half months....I need reassurance.

    I officially hit 10 and a half months today and last night I felt like i was starting this journey all over again. The fear,severe anxiety, depression,feeling desperate like I'm going crazy! I havent felt this extreme sense like 3 months. I have had really bad waves but at like 8 months I felt like the waves kind of like the beginning. But it never got that severe until last night. Is this still natural for PAWS? Andy advice or if you have gone through this and would be ok with sharing ur experience with me would be greatly appreciated....I want to continue to fight this but this has been a huge curve ball =,(

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I officially hit 10 and a half months today and last night I felt like i was starting this journey all over again. The fear,severe anxiety, depression,feeling desperate like I'm going crazy! I havent felt this extreme sense like 3 months. I have had really bad waves but at like 8 months I felt like the waves kind of like the beginning. But it never got that severe until last night. Is this still natural for PAWS? Andy advice or if you have gone through this and would be ok with sharing ur experience with me would be greatly appreciated....I want to continue to fight this but this has been a huge curve ball =,(
    I was there at 10.5 months, too, where I slipped back into feeling just as bad as I did in my early weeks and months of withdrawal. It sucks but it goes away. So, unless such episodes and feelings were part of your life before you ever smoked pot then you almost certainly are in PAWS. The paragraph below is from a site dealing with PAWS. The last sentence clinches it.

    "Post-acute withdrawal feels like a roller coaster of symptoms. As you recover further from withdrawal, symptoms will lessen or even disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long as the early period of withdrawal. "

    Hang tough. 10.5 months is a huge achievement! You will feel better soon but PAWS is stubborn and can comeback for 1 to 2 years. I am 1 year and 2 weeks pot free and still slip into the PAWS bull crap but it does happen less and less. When my PAWS arrives it stays for a day or up to a week but every time it comes, it goes away.

  3. #3
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyzer29 View Post
    I was there at 10.5 months, too, where I slipped back into feeling just as bad as I did in my early weeks and months of withdrawal. It sucks but it goes away. So, unless such episodes and feelings were part of your life before you ever smoked pot then you almost certainly are in PAWS. The paragraph below is from a site dealing with PAWS. The last sentence clinches it.

    "Post-acute withdrawal feels like a roller coaster of symptoms. As you recover further from withdrawal, symptoms will lessen or even disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long as the early period of withdrawal. "

    Hang tough. 10.5 months is a huge achievement! You will feel better soon but PAWS is stubborn and can comeback for 1 to 2 years. I am 1 year and 2 weeks pot free and still slip into the PAWS bull crap but it does happen less and less. When my PAWS arrives it stays for a day or up to a week but every time it comes, it goes away.
    Thank you you Hyzer. I have posted here before and you always help me. I'm always under unregistered. Anyway, yeah last night was terrible again. I fell asleep in the living room and my husband woke me up to go to bed and I woke up feeling terrible. Like if I was out of my body or something. Like my nervous system was just running wild i dont know how to explain it I started to think I died or was dieing and my husband waking me up brought me back to. I dont know maybe that's just the weird thoughts that come along with this I dismissed it though bc I dont think that's possible. It definitely did feel like the beginning of this whole PAWS bs. I was able to get control of myself a bit better than the beginning months were the fear and everything would just take over. I still cant believe I could feel this bad at 10 and a half months....I have felt so confused as to why this was feeling this way again? I started to think there was something terribly wrong with me again....like it wasnt PAWS anymore. I feel so exhausted....I just want my life back. I want to feel connected to my kids and husband again. I want to stop feeling so terrible and then get hit with these waves and feel worse....I'm starting to ask myself if I could really make it through this....I started to get really positive I could but then this started happening this terrible again....I really want to hang on...but I feel so discouraged.

  4. #4
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyzer29 View Post
    I was there at 10.5 months, too, where I slipped back into feeling just as bad as I did in my early weeks and months of withdrawal. It sucks but it goes away. So, unless such episodes and feelings were part of your life before you ever smoked pot then you almost certainly are in PAWS. The paragraph below is from a site dealing with PAWS. The last sentence clinches it.

    "Post-acute withdrawal feels like a roller coaster of symptoms. As you recover further from withdrawal, symptoms will lessen or even disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long as the early period of withdrawal. "

    Hang tough. 10.5 months is a huge achievement! You will feel better soon but PAWS is stubborn and can comeback for 1 to 2 years. I am 1 year and 2 weeks pot free and still slip into the PAWS bull crap but it does happen less and less. When my PAWS arrives it stays for a day or up to a week but every time it comes, it goes away.
    Do you feel better n feel like you make more progress after the wave lifts? For me I have never had a symptom free day just easier to manage with random moments of them peaking but going away right away. So I was wondering do you feel more like yourself /better after the bad waves lift?

  5. #5
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    Feb 2018
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Do you feel better n feel like you make more progress after the wave lifts? For me I have never had a symptom free day just easier to manage with random moments of them peaking but going away right away. So I was wondering do you feel more like yourself /better after the bad waves lift?
    At 10.5 months I don't think it's rare to still have withdrawal symptoms that peak and dissolve daily in a manageable way. For me, by 10.5 months I did have "normal" days. Now, before a wave of PAWS hits me I pretty much feel normal, no out of place anxiety, depression or sleep. When the wave hits, then one, two or all three of those things light up. It rarely passes in a day. Usually it's like a week. When it does pass I feel normal again but the PAWS wave is not some sort of casual thing. It SUCKS. Just like you are describing.

    In your previous post to the one above, you said about your incident the previous night, "I was able to get control of myself a bit better than the beginning months where the fear and everything would just take over." That's a carbon copy of my experience. I can handle it better now when it comes.

    You also said, "I still cant believe I could feel this bad at 10 and a half months....I have felt so confused as to why this was feeling this way again? I started to think there was something terribly wrong with me again....like it wasnt PAWS anymore." Again that is EXACTLY what I experience. I start to think, I am so far way from having smoked pot that this cannot be PAWS. It's just me. I have evolved into an anxious, depressed person who cannot sleep properly! That's basically the peak of my PAWS' moments. However, a couple of things almost always help me dismiss that thought and ease me back to logical reasoning. First, before I smoked pot (I only smoked for like 8 months so I can remember pretty easily how I felt before the pot) I NEVER had weird displaced anxiety, depression or sleep problems. So I know I could not have turned into such a basket case in 8 months just by coincidence. It HAS to be the withdrawal from pot. Second, I always go to a website that describes PAWS and its description is such a perfect match in so many ways to my experience that I am relieved greatly by it (website: https://www.pbinstitute.com/blog/pos...wal-syndrome/#).

    I am not sure if both of those things can help you because the first one just might not be true for your history with pot but I would think the second one (website) would do some cognitive retraining for you! Give it a try. I guess there is a third thing that works for me with PAWS, time just moves on and things change. We have no control over that one! Hang tough. I care about you.
    Last edited by Hyzer29; 01-22-2019 at 06:51 PM.

  6. #6
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    I have tried to reply. but for some reason my comments don't get posted? During my ok days things still don't feel normal just less intense and moments where they do peak and then go down again. I am still dealing with this wave its been a week today and man its still kicking my ass. Now I'm dealing with being sick and that time of the month. Thank you for helping me you have always been there I have posted before as unregistered plenty of times and you have always been there. I made an account but I don't know why it didn't let me post just as unregistered. I feel so drained....I'm getting closer to 11 months and I'm not really all that happy about it because I have gotten so use to a new month coming and still struggling. The uncertainty of how much longer this is going to take is overwhelming and it suck because I don't want to be negative but I can't help it. I just want my life back. I want my emotions back and to feel the intense bond I have with my family. Did you feel emotionally numb? At times I could feel them a bit stronger than before but then back away they go.....I don't know what to do.....thank you for caring about me I care very much about you too and really appreciate the support. I hope you're doing way better.

  7. #7
    Unregistered Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    I forgot to mention that I smoked for 3 and a half or 4 years I can't remember very well right now. But I'm sure a little over 3 years. Before this I had my anxious moments. my insomnia was more due to pms which I wish I would have taken care of differently I stated using that crap for my chronic back pain that I have due to something that happened to me as a kid. Now I wish I would have just gone to pysical therapy for it and found a different way to deal with the insomnia I would get during pms. NEVER have I ever felt this way in my life before quitting. The only panic attacks I think like 3 in total were from times that I have smoked before that I never even knew what a panic attack was. Maybe I should have taken that as my warning.....i feel terrible...

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    Hey Unregistered,
    I am sorry to hear that things are challenging for you right now. It sounds like you have some good support from Hyzer, who obviously understands PAWS a lot better than me. My only insight into how you are feeling is based around the mental tendency to wind yourself up into a kind of anxiety, about the fact that things are uncomfortable, difficult or otherwise not how you wish them to be.

    This wanting things to be different to how they are, can really cause a lot of pain and trouble inside, because we tend to start struggling with ourselves. If you can do something about these PAWS symptoms then do it, but if they are out of your control and there is nothing you can do, I would suggest that ACCEPTANCE is the best way to get out of the funk. The definition of acceptance is 'observing without judgment' and I think it helps us to experience uncomfortable emotions in a less distressing way. To develop this very important skill, I would really recommend doing some mindfulness practice. The Headspace app is a brilliant and had 10 free sessions, then a small cost for an annual subscription, or Smiling Mind is another good app that is free.

    I think this will really help you, as I can hear that you are struggling with your experiences, particularly PAWS. I would also suggest trying to ignore the number of days or months that you have been quit. It sets up this tendency to believe that 'things should be better by now', and puts a timeline on something that is a very personal and unique experience for every one of us.

    Congratulations on your quit though. You are doing a fantastic job, because number one, you are not smoking! And that is a huge achievement. When all this has passed and you are feeling better again, you are going to look back and feel so proud that you got through this!

    Best,
    Alice :-)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I officially hit 10 and a half months today and last night I felt like i was starting this journey all over again. The fear,severe anxiety, depression,feeling desperate like I'm going crazy! I havent felt this extreme sense like 3 months. I have had really bad waves but at like 8 months I felt like the waves kind of like the beginning. But it never got that severe until last night. Is this still natural for PAWS? Andy advice or if you have gone through this and would be ok with sharing ur experience with me would be greatly appreciated....I want to continue to fight this but this has been a huge curve ball =,(
    After a year or two, it can get even worse, it is usually said, to completely get rid of addiction - you should not use exactly the same amount of time as you used. Addiction is a very complex thing that is firmly in your head and changes the structure of thoughts and your subconscious. Full self-control and patience - and you will succeed!

  10. #10
    seriously Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    After a year or two, it can get even worse, it is usually said, to completely get rid of addiction - you should not use exactly the same amount of time as you used. Addiction is a very complex thing that is firmly in your head and changes the structure of thoughts and your subconscious. Full self-control and patience - and you will succeed!
    I am 49 smoked since I was 16 on day 102 this post makes me feel like whats the point.When I'm 82 I will feel normal great.

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