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Thread: Can't sleep anxiety depression insomnia

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
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    California
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    145

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    Great perspective, Mitchell!
    Keep it up! And don't get discouraged if you have setbacks. They will pass.

    John

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  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Hey Mitchell,
    Just wanted to say congrats on 60 days and to ask how things are going for you now?
    Like John, I am very impressed with your insight and attitude. I think you will go far in life!
    Hope all's well.
    Alice

  3. #13
    25 year user Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    Mitchell, A massive Respect from the UK, 60 days in a huge Milestone, I'm 6 days in, and like you have started my own thread so I can watch my progress and maybe help others going through the same process, Weirdly my Anxiety only becomes unbearable when I'm high, for 6 days it has all but gone, Alice and JWC (John) know what they are talking about so we're both lucky to have them interested in our well being and supporting us as are the other Forum posters.
    I have talked to people about the dreams and they believe its our brains way of processing the 'stuff' that we encounter everyday, but the 'stuff' wont get 'processed' as well when we are high, hence withdrawl can bring a barrage of vivid/weird/bizarre and down right scary Dreams, I've had some that have stayed/bothered with me for days, but try not to read in to them too much was their advice. I reckon mine would be a great inspiration for a horror film script! Freddy kruger would look like a Disney film in comparison if i could harness that fear. Your young and have your whole life ahead, I wish I had your resolve at a much earlier age. Life is short and precious, this has come to the forefront of my attention as my favorite tropical surf destination has recently been bombed and IS have just claimed responsibility, I thought it could never happen there, but it has. I can highly recommend exercise and Yoga to calm the mind! Its what I'm missing ATM due to injury, but this should change when i get the all clear on Friday! We are also lucky to live in the developed world, I've traveled extensively through out my life and I have seen real hardship and poverty, but weirdly these people seem happier and less depressed than us westerners! Go Figure. So stay with it and good luck for the future,
    Steve (the 25 year user)

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice View Post
    Hey Mitchell,
    Just wanted to say congrats on 60 days and to ask how things are going for you now?
    Like John, I am very impressed with your insight and attitude. I think you will go far in life!
    Hope all's well.
    Alice
    Considering how I felt at the beginning of April compared to now, I feel significantly better! My main issue which was and still is anxiety. Although it is not nearly as bad, it has been slowly but surely been affecting me less. I used to get caught up in the thoughts and feelings but I just learned to accept what and not judge my thoughts which has been a turning point in my recovery. I am now 71 days in, my insomnia is still there but less troublesome. The vivid dreams have become less vivid and also less unpleasant. Now my dreams are just normal dreams rather than nightmares or dreams about smoking weed. Waking up and not getting a full nights sleep has been an issue for me and i've noticed that I seem to be getting better sleep. Doing this weed quitting journey has also been a fitness journey for me and I still consistently running and working out. I have ran a total of 49 miles with my nike+ app since May 17th. I am very happy that I am this far into this and it gives me even more motiviation to keep pushing and putting in my greatest effort. So I would say that I am 60% back to normal it seems. Which is great!

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  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    15

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    Steve, 6 days in.... sheesh.... I remember how miserable I was, I was almost suicidal. Your mind can go into a dark place when it is set into panic mode from the absence of what your reward system depends on. I convinced myself that I was insane at a point, but I wasn't. Whenever you are feeling down just remember your brain chemistry is pretty much just working out its kinks. Yeah, the dreams really really got to me, I would have this anxiety and be stuck thinking about my dreams all damn day. When I would try and meditate to calm my mind I would just be impulsively thinking about these dreams. My dreams would wake me up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat with horrible anxiousness and nausea, thankfully this has passed for me. My dreams have improved drastically and are not even significant enough for me to remember throughout the day. It is really nice to be 72 days in because it felt like I forgot was normal was like. Pretty much emotionally numb and thinking I would never come back. Now I can think clearly but still have a small bit of anxiety every hour or so. But judging from how bad my addiction was I presume it will take me a number of months for me to get to where this is no longer even on my mind. Being 16 years old my teenage brain was really hooked on weed abuse. I am just glad I got out of that rat hole and now spending all of my time wisely and working on my passion which is music production which I have been doing for around 5 years. This is very good because it really takes my mind off of things xD. Always remember that you are not alone and that the feelings have been experienced by many others such as myself. I wish you the best and keep your chin up,
    Mitchell

  6. #16
    25 year user Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    "my passion which is music production which I have been doing for around 5 years"

    Well that is a coincidence I too studied Music production/technology when i was 17-20. although due to my using, I didn't really give it my all, and should really have been more focused and driven, unfortunately at the time my focus was the newly introduced Skunk (high grade weed) that had just reached our shores (this was 1997) I passed the first Diploma course with a merit (65%-90%) but really to progress in the industry Distinctions are required (90%+ pass rate) as is commitment, After 2 years at the next course (university standard) i dropped out, probably due to being stoned all day, everyday. Back then all our work was based around analogue equipment and things have changed a little since then, but it is one of my Major regrets, what could have been, I did hear one of my fellow students works or worked at Abbey road studios London, you might just have heard about that place ......... Anyway Focus on your studies is one of the best pieces of advice anyone can give you, and I envy your chances to progress in a wonderfully exciting industry. I still make a few tunes in my spare time, and have worked with a burlesque group doing sound and lights, and also ran a 4 room nightclub for a few years (with over 50k watts of Function 1 sound system) but surfing and fitness/Yoga is my new passion and my new career change should bring me financial stability. I agree with Alice and John you seem like a very Intelligent young man and I'm glad you seem to not want to make the same mistakes I did at your age. Its day 7 today for me, but I know "its not over till the fat lady sings" one day at a time.....
    Good Luck Buddy,
    Steve the 25 year ex user

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    California
    Posts
    145

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    Quote Originally Posted by 25 year user View Post
    Mitchell, A massive Respect from the UK, 60 days in a huge Milestone, I'm 6 days in, and like you have started my own thread so I can watch my progress and maybe help others going through the same process, Weirdly my Anxiety only becomes unbearable when I'm high, for 6 days it has all but gone, Alice and JWC (John) know what they are talking about so we're both lucky to have them interested in our well being and supporting us as are the other Forum posters.
    I have talked to people about the dreams and they believe its our brains way of processing the 'stuff' that we encounter everyday, but the 'stuff' wont get 'processed' as well when we are high, hence withdrawl can bring a barrage of vivid/weird/bizarre and down right scary Dreams, I've had some that have stayed/bothered with me for days, but try not to read in to them too much was their advice. I reckon mine would be a great inspiration for a horror film script! Freddy kruger would look like a Disney film in comparison if i could harness that fear. Your young and have your whole life ahead, I wish I had your resolve at a much earlier age. Life is short and precious, this has come to the forefront of my attention as my favorite tropical surf destination has recently been bombed and IS have just claimed responsibility, I thought it could never happen there, but it has. I can highly recommend exercise and Yoga to calm the mind! Its what I'm missing ATM due to injury, but this should change when i get the all clear on Friday! We are also lucky to live in the developed world, I've traveled extensively through out my life and I have seen real hardship and poverty, but weirdly these people seem happier and less depressed than us westerners! Go Figure. So stay with it and good luck for the future,
    Steve (the 25 year user)
    Hey Steve,

    Thanks for the nod. :-)

    I am glad I can help you out. Paying back (or forward?) what people did for me.

    Interesting what you say about your high anxiety when stoned. I had always been much more relaxed when high but the last few months were different. I was getting "dumber". I had always been a functioning stoner but toward the end I was really forgetful and just had stupid thought processes. Then insomnia/anxiety kicked in. While I was still smoking. So being high all changed for me for the worse. So I quit. My sleep issues continued for about a year, with small breaks here and there. Funny how something can suddenly have a completely opposite or different effect on you after such a long time with one effect.

    Also interesting is your observation of people seeiming to be "happier" in less developed places. I think I get it. Less is more. Easy for us to say.....

    Mitchell--
    Seems like you are rocking this whole quit thing!!

    Cheers!
    John

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    15

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    Wow... you studied music production? That is awesome! I first got into it because when I was in middle school I was a real fan of electronic music such as EDM, House, and Dubstep. I wanted to attempt to make my own, but never ended up making anything remotely good... When I got into high school I was still just playing around with the program Fl Studio but started to do it frequently. I got into hiphop/rap/trap beats and now I would consider myself a good self taught producer with at least 2000 hours spent producing without a doubt. It is my dream in life to make a living off of my music, and I would say that I am on the path to do so right now... I'm also moving to LA when I graduate, likely going to go to Garnish Music Production and DJ School or some other school there. I am learning piano through the computer program melodics with my midi keyboard, and I am taking Guitar next year as a class for senior year. I am trying to build up my social media presence while also networking with other artists. If I have free time at home, I am making music. I know I have what it takes to do music because I have some great skills right now and I am only 16, I have so much time to work on it.

    If your scenario is in any way similar to mine than day 7 is and was tough. As you said you have a new career change that should bring you to financial stability which is wonderful because it would take some of the weight off of your shoulders. The withdrawal really ramps up emotions and being in a workplace or a setting where you are engaged with others is hell when you are seemingly trapped in your mind on withdrawals. Constantly overthinking and then monitoring your thoughts and just literally suffering is what it was like for me. At school I was on the edge of having a panick attack and would just keep to myself and if anybody engaged with me I would pretty much just utter a response just to bring a conversation to an end. My thoughts were scattered and I was living in a thick stormy cloud, literally hurricane conditions. Luckily that phase is over. My advice would be to just keep in mind that this will pass, for me I really thought it never would. Currently on day 74 and I'm feeling better than i've felt in 74 days. Still a little bit anxious at times but it is controllable and not affecting me nearly as bad as it was.
    My best regards,
    Mitchell

  9. #19
    25 year user Cannabis Rehab Guest

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    Yes I studied Professional Audio Systems in 1997-1999, So Production, Transmission principles, Composition, loads of different aspects of the Audio industry, In America (i think thats where you from?) it would be high school level 17-19 yrs old and the course led to University, which didn't work out quite as I had hoped. Producing/Mastering (turd polishing) seamed to be my best subject and what I was all about. But as I have said my first love was Weed so didn't really give the course my all. I still have nightmares about turning up for a lesson late and not being allowed in. It might have actually happened or It might be a dream! who knows it was so long ago. Anyway, i left with a Merit mark so 70% pass rate!
    My advice to you would be to study hard and try to obtain the best grades possible, but qualifications on paper don't guarantee you a job, possibly offer your services for free to start with, maybe at the well known studios, enthusiasm looks good, make tea and watch the pros work, but be careful as a lot of people will take advantage of this, which is fine for a few weeks, but it wont pay the rent, maybe do whats called an Internship in the U.S.A. we just called it work experience here, i did mine at Peavey UK. do loads of them if you can, and try to get a good understanding of Music theory, so you can get inside the heads of the musicians. Your passion will shine through as I'm sure as Alice and John have said, you sound very intelligent so you will do well.
    Its day 9? today I think for me, but my posts have to be moderated and i think your a few hours behind us Brits. But apart from what i'm calling a stress headache, and sweaty arm pits, I'm doing ok. Double Yoga last night really helped (first lesson in 6 weeks) and I'm hoping to get wet (pool) by the end of the weekend and surfing by Monday if my wound has fully healed. My friend is here Blazing next to me and I'm not bothered! I cant smoke now as I would be letting myself down, think I've cracked the worst of it, I'm a stubborn old git.
    Steve (25 year user)

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    So I think I may be having a setback, or something of that sort. My anxiety in this last week or two had gone down but it just went back up yesterday. I did not do that much stuff yesterday, pretty much just sat around in my room. I ended up skipping my run that day, but I know I need to get my ass up and come back better than ever and get to running again. My dreams have been going up and down but seemingly improving. I’m getting tired of being tired.... Just gotta get this next month over with and so on. I really want to have this be a thing of the past, hopefully these years go by and I can make the right choices.

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