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Thread: 25 years heavy use 4 days into quitting

  1. #11
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    I had super vivid dreams that would be stuck with me for days as well. So rich in detail that I could recall every single thing start to finish in it. I had one where I was on an airplane that crashed. These dreams were creepy and just absolutely horrid, I would have nightmares that would wake me up in sweat and I could not simply just go back to sleep. I was in a cycle where I would get anxiety about having another nightmare the next night while thinking about the previous one. I had this problem where I could not stop thinking and relplaying my dreams over and over again in my head. My dreams are so much better now. In the last 7 days I have maybe had one bad dream, and I forgot what it was because as time goes on you just forget. When your brain wants to make you think about them just acknowledge the fact that you are thinking about it than dismiss it. Think of the thoughts as clouds passing by, or leaves in a stream floating by. Sometimes there are more than one of the same type of leaf. They all will pass eventually. For me, I was stuck in weeks of suffering, although I have made it to a point where I am no longer "suffering" I'm just improving. It is a little bit slow since I am now like 76 or 77 days in I can't remember but my addiction was very very bad. My use spiraled out of control because I was using it to cope. Now I have a much greater perspective on it and as you get further into your days without weed you start to understand yourself more. There isn't much you can do other than take care of yourself and remind yourself that these days will pass. But these dreams will improve and so will insomnia.
    I wish you the best
    Mitchell

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  2. #12
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    Hi Steve,

    Seems like you are doing well for now. Going to such a party and getting through it is terrific. Perhaps going forward you can focus on the friends who are patting you on the back for what you are doing.

    I remember reading, on here I'm pretty sure, that if you quit for a while, then use again, and then try to quit a second time, the withdrawal symptoms are much more difficult, especially as you get older. NO THANK YOU! My withdrawal experience was bad enough and there is no way in hell I want to go through anything worse! So look for these posts and they will surely add to your resolve.

    Anyway, all your symptoms sound typical. It's a journey...one day at a time.
    People have said that I am looking good these days as well. And no Sri Lankan tan for me, although I'm sure that helps. But seriously, you will continue to feel better and therefore look better.

    Hope that foot gets better!
    All the best
    John

  3. #13
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    DAY 13, SO That makes tomorrow 2 WEEKS since I last smoked the Devils lettuce (my new tongue in check name for it) ! I am actually fairly stoked about it, 2 weeks ago I wouldn't have dreamed it was actually possible. I'm not saying the last 2 weeks has been easy, but my mental resolve is growing with everyday clean, the headaches are getting less distracting, and maybe even the sweating is diminishing a touch. But the sleep, or lack of it is still a problem and the Dreams continue, so much so a siesta is now part of my daily routine, my brain still feel foggy and dumber than when i was consuming. BUT I'm back in the pool with the help of an ankle brace and use of a pull buoy, and I smashed out a quick KM yesterday and it felt great, weirdly my technique is always better after a break from swimming, I paid up for my monthly pool membership. I also have been to 2 weeks of core flow yoga classes and although it was a sweaty struggle to keep up (its not the type of yoga your thinking of, this is hardcore!) this too is helping immensely, my wound has closed so just a small scab left to heal, so I am expecting Nursey to let me surf after my appointment on Friday morning, typically the surf drops to mush on Friday!!!!!
    One day at a time....

    John, Thanks for the support, A lot of my friends and acquaintances smoke, I will never be able to escape that, so now I know I can resist temptation, (I wasn't even that Tempted) hanging out with these guys won't be much of a problem, aside from passive smoking that is....My vape (nicotine only) provides me with my substitute, I know its still not healthy (although better than smoking roll ups) and maybe in the future I will give this up too, but for now its my pacifier. One thing I have noticed is the Denial of my friends, the conversation goes something like this, "do you think your addicted to cannabis?", "no way I could stop anytime","why not have a week or two off then?", " Urrmmm no I don't need to, It's fine, I'm not addicted, I just like it, I'm not addicted though" as we all know there is nothing worse than an ex-smoker so I'm not about to start preaching at anyone.....But its funny the level of denial never presented its self to me until I had quit for a week or so.
    Maybe I'm going to have to find a new outlook on cannabis, being an ex grow shop manager, 25 year user and believing in its potential as 'medicine'. I'm not sure where I stand on it all now. With the world legalizing medicinal and recreational cannabis. Alcohol being legal pretty much worldwide, and far more dangerous as regards health and Withdrawl. Maybe it doesn't matter what I think, to me its more of a personal problem I'm fairly sure if Ganja wasn't available to me at my young age I probably would have found another substance to abuse, as many of my old school friends did. I'm thankful I never sought solace in anything harder!!!!

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)



    Alice, Even though Im only new to here, the first few days are the hardest and your posts helped me through (John too), so Thanks. I read your post on Mitchels thread I hope your doing ok and feeling better

  4. #14
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    Day 18 here,
    Somedays are better than others and temptation is only a mindset away, I have been reading Anthony Kiedis the Red Hot Chilli Peppers singer's auto biography and although he was in to harder drugs it has struck a cord (ha) with me. Also an interview with Brendan Novak on you tube also has quite familiar similarities. Addiction should be treated like an illness, First physically. then mentally to stay away from our substance of choice, there are extremities to different substances and although Cannabis doesn't have the ability to destroy lives to the extent of Heroin/opiates/cocaine/alcohol etc, it shouldn't be taken lightly. I feel that consuming now would set me back mentally to day one, or beyond, and I'm way to stubborn to let this happen. Having this thread has helped no end, and every time I'm tempted or think about getting high I come back and read it or the replies or someone else thread and realize why I started this journey, its been both the easiest and hardest thing I have ever done and each day throws up new challenges, mentally and physically, I'm proud internally of how far I have come and don't feel the need for any recognition from anyone else. Its a personal journey, that might never end! Some of my friends can't understand why or how I'm doing this, but they haven't lived inside my head as i have for the 25 years I've been stoned. I'm taken back to that feeling of when I couldn't get or buy Ganja, the stress, the angst, the need, I never want to feel this again, and It looks like i will go through all this again when I quit the Nicotine (vape). But hopefully the tools I have gained from kicking my weed addiction will help..As I have said before
    One day at a time......

  5. #15
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    Dear Steve,

    GREAT entry! I really like your writing syle.

    "Temptation is only a mindset away" Brilliant.

    It really sounds like you are on a solid pathway. The farther along the path you are, the more distant all the crap at the beginning of the path becomes. Aside from the occasional daydream about dopamine rushes from weed, I am so much happier with my life now than before. I look back, especially at the last few years of getting high, and see how terrible I felt all the time. I wouldn't want to go back to that for anything.

    You gotta do what's right for you, no matter if your friends understand or not. I have a long time friend who gets high daily. We live far apart from each other now, but communicate somewhat regularly. Last year when I told her what was happening to me and that I had quit cannabis, she said, "Well, for a while, right? It's good to take a break every now and then." She understands now that it is permanent and she has said that she admires me for it. So surround yourself with people who will support you. As you are doing yoga and meditation, you should be able to detach your mind from unwanted situations.

    Really, anything is only a mindset away :-)

    Hang in there my friend!
    Cheers
    John

  6. #16
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    day 21! So when I wake up tomorrow that's 3 weeks since I last smoked the Weeds! Who would have thought!
    One day at a time...

  7. #17
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    awesome! keep it up! I myself am on day 88, feels good to be this far.

  8. #18
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    Excellent for both of you!

  9. #19
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    Day 27? I think!
    Not everyday is sunny with waves so when it is its best to capitalize on it, so I surfed before breakfast, swam 1km at lunch, did hardcore yoga in the evening, and then surfed again for another hour + till sunset, which was spectacular. Keeping busy helps but even then, coming home I still wanted to roll up a spliff and yes smoke it! And its possible as I still have a form of stash. But I realize now I have a choice, to smoke or not to smoke, and remembering the anxiety and negative thoughts It was causing me, is enough to remind me why I chose to quit.
    Getting to nearly 1 month (sat night) was unthinkable 1 month ago, but its possible, If I can do it, a hardened 25 year smoker then anyone can do it, in fact any one can do anything they put their mind too! I'm even planning on stopping vaping soon and having 0 addictions at all! This is something I NEVER would have thought possible, and will be a truly liberating experience, I genuinely attribute a lot of this newly found determination to my Yoga practice which started over 2 years ago, I can't recommend it enough and powered through todays class! The headaches have all but gone, my constitution is still suffering but a change of diet may help this, I still feel a touch 'dumber' but this even seems to be improving. My dreams are not as bad and I did read that the 5-HTP i was taking can cause vivid dreams so I have stopped taking these, they did seem to help with the withdrawl symptoms but Felt it best to stop taking them. I also can't believe this thread has over 750 views, I'm certainly not anti-cannabis but if someone who wants to quit reads this and it helps them take the first step, then I'm stoked!
    I'm still taking it one day at a time but those days are getting easier
    Last edited by 25 year ex user; 05-15-2019 at 01:17 PM.

  10. #20
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    Way to go!

    I love it when you say you have a desire to smoke up but then you think about the anxiety and negative thoughts. I have similar thoughts. Why on earth would you want to go back to that?! Especially when you are coming up on 1 month cannabis free. I do miss the high sometimes. That feeling of relaxation and taking your mind to another place. BUT, it is just not worth all the negative shit that had begun to go along with it! The cons were definitely outweighing the pros--big time! So this thought process is good I think!

    Great for your yoga practice! Sounds really helpful.
    And I'm sure you will start to feel even better when you stop vaping!

    Keep up the great work!
    John

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