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Thread: 25 years heavy use 4 days into quitting

  1. #21
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    Day 34, My sleep is getting better although some vivid but pleasant dreams do continue. Although surfing whenever I can, swimming 1500 meters everyday, yoga twice a week and a healthy dose of sunshine is making sure I'm properly tired, so much so I almost fell asleep on my sofa last night, I have found myself waking up a few times in the night however which never normally happens! This is just a quick post to remind myself of my progress, hope everybody else is doing well!
    One day at a time......
    Last edited by 25 year ex user; 05-23-2019 at 11:07 AM.

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  2. #22
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    Congrats on 34 days (+ some). It is a great achievement. And I think that the first month can be one of the hardest, so you are doing great!
    I am sure that all the exercise and yoga that you are doing are going to stand you in good stead.
    Dare I say that you sound cheerful too? It must be nice to be coming into summer!
    Here's to 34 more days to come :-)
    Alice

  3. #23
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    Hey Alice good to hear from you, Hope you are doing well. I've been meaning to post my experience from the last few days so will do it now, you are correct I had been feeling cheerful up until today, even had a date on Friday night which I think went pretty well, and another meeting has been arranged!!!!
    But......
    The rain came down today, well more of a Mizzle (mist and drizzle = Mizzle) and the surf was bad, so I was unsure whether to go to work, the Boss was unavailable to confirm, so it all became a bit of a mind f**k, but too many details to explain about here. I've also been worrying lately about my change or lack of career late in life, and I have proper FOMO, although I have had two excellent offers/options, one to return back to the Audio/stage Industry, the other a very humbling offer from a friend to retrain with a building trade, I forgot about my lack of brain function to be able to deal with anything to strenuous at the moment, and also forgot that I should only really be concentrating on recovering from my addiction, 25 years of using and especially from such a young age, has left me a little un-prepared to deal with such issues and what followed today was a highly depressive episode. After doing some you tube and book research, it's possible it will take me a rather lengthy period of time to recover or allow the Neuroplasticity of my noggin time to try to heal/regain normal levels. I have had a really good run and aside from the physical withdrawal symptoms which have all but gone, I have had a very positive mindset over the last 34 days, but lack of seeing friends this weekend, a slightly stressful situation with work, and over thinking my life as it is now seems to have triggered a quick slide down in to the negative. I almost feel hazy like a morning stone-over, or the feeling i used to get when I was stoned and didnt really want to socialize, I HAVE NOT however consumed. I've read that Dopamine levels can fluctuate massively after quitting any addiction, so possibly this is the cause, also maybe the PAWS I have read other posts about on here, or more likely its the issues I had been masking all these years by using, Either way its not been the best of days. I think its important to realize that I shouldn't under-estimate the effect Cannabis has had on my Brain development over the years, I literally didn't have more than a few days off Cannabis since I was 15 up until the age of 41! Maybe I shouldn't be trying to make life decisions just yet and just concentrate on allowing my body time to recover from this abuse. A you tube video from Tommy Rosen really resonated with me. So as bad as all this sounds I'm glad its happened as It has reminded me of my journey. This will take time to combat and although I'm 36 days in I still have a long way to go, hopefully the Sun will be out tomorrow and It will be a better day....
    One day at a time..
    Last edited by 25 year ex user; 05-27-2019 at 02:36 AM.

  4. #24
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    Hey 25,
    You are doing all the right things. And I think you are right. It is going to take some time for your brain to recover. Not forever, and not years either, but I think you will feel the positive effects for a couple of years to come. Right now, you are rebuilding your neural network and that is going to happen in spurts and starts. My experience was feeling a lot more 'raw' and 'vulnerable' to stress and other life issues in the early days of quitting weed. The good news is that your new-found abstinence will give you more long term capacity to deal with the rough and the smooth, so while it feels a bit rocky now, in my experience life gets a whole lot more balanced after a while.

    I have also heard from medical professionals that the time when you started smoking weed can keep you in that age and you don't develop emotionally beyond that developmental age until you quit. I am not sure that is true, but I do think that personal growth is a whole lot slower when you are smoking weed. And I am in the same boat having started being an occasional smoker from 16 years. Maybe that is why I can't get over studying. I always just want to study. Haha.

    Whatever the truth is, it is going to take some time for your brain to catch up, so be kind to yourself. The good news is that the personal growth that you can find if you stick with this quit becomes intoxicating in its own right after some time to catch up. I am always amazed at how far I have come in the past few years!

    With regard to your career, I hear ya. I think that often the best thing to do is to just stick on the track that you are on and to not buy into all that mind chatter that says you should change or do something different. Changing industries or careers is very disruptive and I am not sure that you want to do that right now. What do you enjoy about your work right now? What in your current work inspires you?

    Hope the sunshine comes out today and you have a better day :-)
    Alice

  5. #25
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    Sep 2018
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    Hi heavy user 25 years

    I saw your post and i immediately related to it. I have written two posts on here as this site has been invaluable for me. Like you, I smoked for over 25 years; all of my adult life. I am a similar age. I found quitting weed the most difficult time of my life. Mostly due to the length of time it took me to feel better and ride the waves of PAWS. JWCs posts have helped me a lot. Thank you John for your help in helping others. We all need this reassurance. I will back up what John says. It does and will get better. I had anxiety, loss of appetite, insomnia, weight loss, irritability, and more. It was only after a year that I started to feel normal again. I quit in April 2018. So 14 months now and I am now starting to feel like I did when I was a child. Don't give up keep going keep going. Quitting is the best thing you could ever do. The reward is beautiful but you will need to be patient and believe in yourself. It will be tough but the good days eventually outnumber the bad and you will see the improvement each week and month. Keep fit and eat well. Avoid alcohol and junk food. Drink plenty of water.
    Last edited by UK guy; 05-27-2019 at 04:54 PM.

  6. #26
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    I actually Left my last Job In January as it was managing a Hydroponics/Grow Shop, you know.....for people who grow..... I left due to wanting to quit consuming and after 6 years in the job maybe a touch of retail burnout/boredom, it paid fairly well, so it took me a long time to muster the courage to leave, I swanned off to a Tropical Island to work in a surf/yoga camp for the winter and picked up this badly paid car park job on my return, it just happens to be in a wonderful location and means I can easily surf twice and swim everyday, read plenty of books and get a half decent tan on! The work will however finish in September! I love the sound/tech work, and as I'm single and low on friends who aren't married or with child, it means I will get out and about and meet new people, plus get to see some gigs and get paid, plenty of festival work too, but the late nights, odd working hours, weekends away and possible temptation, does worry me slightly! The apprenticeship offered from a friend has great potential but will be a solid commitment, and little chance to meet new people, I can also go back to the surf/yoga camp in October, although the pay is not even worth mentioning, so I'm in two minds about all of it, I can however just chill in my latest job for the summer, allow my ankle tendons to heal properly, focus on my recovery and leave any life changing decisions until after September, by that time I WILL be over 5 months sober, so that is my current plan, to have no plan and try not to think about it, easier said than done.
    I do feel slightly better today, the sun did make an appearance, and I smashed out over 2km's non stop in the pool, and did 500m of drills on top of this, It wasn't even hard!!!! Hopefully I will sleep well tonight
    One day at a time...

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  7. #27
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    UK guy.
    As tough as it has been, and will be, The hardest part was taking the first step, posting on here has helped me back up my decision and the posts from other members do help no-end. The last 34 days, physical symptoms aside, have actually been great for me, even though the last few days have been a bit of a nightmare, I'm ready to tackle them and won't give up, I yoga every week Hard/Core yoga this helps immensely, and my progress in the pool from not breathing in smoke of any description has bolstered me on as this should translate into more time in the water surfing. I'd happily accept some of your weight loss though as it seems I'm actually putting weight on, I hope its all muscle innit!
    I need to drink more water that's true, I do manage 1ltr a day with ease but forget after midday, vaping does dehydrate me so really I need at least 2 maybe 3 ltrs and flush myself out everyday!
    Well done on your 14 months, that's a great achievement, can I ask did you suffer from feeling 'dumber' after you quit? It's the only way I can describe it, I struggle with words, lose track of conversations, I used to always work out the Countdown numbers game (on Cats does Countdown), but don't have the mental 'space' atm, I even have problems with money and the right change, simple things really especially spelling and just generally feel a bit of a mess mentally, much worse than when I was stoned. I'm hoping this will pass in time..
    Thanks for you post
    One day at a time (with more water)
    Last edited by 25 year ex user; 05-27-2019 at 06:18 PM.

  8. #28
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    Day 42? (I've lost count) yesterday was 6 weeks without consuming! And I can honestly say my head has been up my A*** this week, I'm having trouble spitting the right words out, basic spelling and talking is becoming harder, as are a lot of my mental functions, and my general mood is low. I am assuming this is a delayed reaction/PAWS or just my brain/body detoxing, I'm drinking 2 litres + of water per day and am like a tap, in one end, out the other. Has anyone else experienced this negative effect after 6 weeks? As I said in the last post the first month was one of positivity, even though the physical symptoms were a bit of a hard time, mentally I was quite happy! This week has been a kick in the proverbial plums! I have no want to consume anymore, but it does feel rather scary to think that after this length of time symptoms or problems associated with my long term use are getting worse not better!
    Anyway suns out, and waves will be good tomorrow, no swimming today as its a planned rest day for me......
    One day at a time.....

  9. #29
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    Hey 25,
    Congrats on 6 weeks. This is the point that things are 'supposed' to get better, and apart from the three-month itch, you are well on your way to being clear of this shiz. With regard to your mental faculties, I definitely remember a period of going backward before I noticed that my cognitive skills got way better.

    I would also let you know that I still find talking difficult at times, 3.25 years in. I do think that cannabis does some damage to our brains and this is what we notice when we are clear and straight. The good news comes in the form of one word 'neuroplasticity'. No matter what damage cannabis has done to our minds, we can learn to build new neural networks and develop new skills.

    You seem like the sort of person who is keen to better yourself through health and exercise. I would say that your spelling/speaking challenges may require the same kind of application. The more you practice these skills the better you will get at them.

    I have been socially anxious ever since early adulthood, and I think that some of my challenges with speaking comes from childhood. However, I am streets ahead of where I was at 25. Your symptoms may be a temporary symptom of your withdrawal and will get better with time, or you might need to do some work to rebuild your neural network. Whatever the case, you have essentially stopped doing the damage and you are in a much better position to rebuild.

    Let us know how you go.
    Alice

  10. #30
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    So well into 7 weeks since I last consumed, actually 8 weeks tomorrow and 2 months on Monday I've been thinking how much this forum has helped as it reminds me when and why I stopped getting high, Things really were easy in the first month but have become harder this second month! Not the urge to get high again, as who would want crippling anxiety and stress, but more the realization that there may be some damage and remembering the reasons why I started, and If I'm honest its my mental health and well being that has become harder to cope with. Its a journey and I'm learning and researching everyday, and realizing this has affected many many people after quitting any kind of addictive behavior.
    I have some counselling arranged to try to help, but the depression I have had all my life seems to have gotten a touch worse lately, It may be due to my Mother being ill and now she is in hospital, so I'm making the 6 hour journey to go stay with her for a while tomorrow morning after I sort out my yard and get things in order, and Yoga tonight for some extra strength, physically and mentally, as I'm not sure when I will be back and what I'm going to have to deal with other the next few days! The weird dreams have finally become not so weird, but I still wake up very often and don't seem to be getting proper rest.
    Anyway note to self:
    One day at a time .....

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