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Thread: 1 month clean - can't update my original post

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    5

    Default 1 month clean - can't update my original post

    So I'm 31 days in and wow what a 30 days. The first seven just sucked but I felt a new hope. The next 14 were great, minus the sleep issues. I felt clear headed and vibrant. Starting rediscovering things I love like playing music, reading, writing, being proactive with friends. That part is still there and it is great. But the last 7 days my reactivity has gotten out of control. I am like a f'n madman when it comes to just about anything. I think it's that I'm feeling these big emotions and I have no numbing agent to suppress them. I have no ability to not act out at the moment. Last night I finally broke down and took a Klonopin just to stop my spiraling. I mean, I'm feeling everything and I have no idea how to deal with it. I was never that good at feeling my feelings but the last 4 years I have completely buried them and just been on autopilot. Dating is a specific trigger and I think I am going to have to stop for a while, but of course last week I met an amazing woman. Of course, she likes to smoke weed. Of course. For 4 years I was looking for someone to smoke with me and I rarely found it, get sober and it's what I meet. I don't think she is an abuser and she thought it was great that I am clean but, crap! Oh well, I'm doing yoga, meditation, counseling. I take fish oil and eat a healthy diet. I've lost about 8 lbs and am looking and feeling pretty great. I know this is the right path, but these emotions and my reactivity is just crazy.

    For assistance with finding a reputable and accredited Marijuana Rehab Service Provider in the USA you can call the US Government’s FREE SAMHSA’s National Helpline on:

    1-800-662-HELP (4357)


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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    77

    Default

    Congrats on one month! Please be careful with the klonopin. Have a plan next time youre feeling overwhelmed so you dont reach for another benzo. In my experience the emotions part of withdrawal was much worse in the second and third months.

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